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Scanner Reports 5-16-14
updated: May 16, 2014, 7:00 AM

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Nobody gives a damn until it happens to them. It was quite gross seeing turds on the sidewalks and the porches down here but I was more concerned for the barefoot children walking to and from the beach. They say there are a lot of diseases in human waste, so I was afraid of kids getting ill. That was the main reason I complained about people dumping in public. Another reason is, I don't think, and it's only my opinion which everyone is entitled to, that scrapping in front of women, children, and older folks is cool. This sort of thing's been going on for years though in and around Santa Barbara. The Old School tramps I used to know many years ago usually found a bush or dug a hole or even once in a great, great while found an open public restroom to use. Once in a while a private citizen would rent a porta potty and have it put it in different parts of town. I thought about doing that but didn't couldn't afford it. Bob Hansen tried for years and years to get the city to build more public restrooms for the public which included the homeless to use. I do think they built a couple but sometimes it's kinda hard to hold a bowel movement and walk 3 miles. Of course the question rose once again where does someone go to the bathroom when they are homeless? No one wants the homeless to use the public restrooms so many of them are locked up at dusk. Where would YOU go if you were homeless and had to drop the kids off at the Pool?

The funny thing about subjects like this is the Right come out of the Wood Work and blame the Liberals "Blah,blah.blah.blah. If we had majority on the Silly Council we would change this all around VOTE FOR US!" They had majority and I recall they talked scrap about Grant House over and over and over again. It's the never ending ring around the rosy and it's THIS WAY EVERYWHERE. Google any town USA you're going to read the same things that go on here go on there with the Right coming out of the woodwork the whole yards. What if there was an Election and no one voted?

Here's your Scanner Roni Reports, Wednesday:

  • Fall victim Back Pain 200 East Anapamu.
  • Subject down in the driveway 600 Block of East Church.
  • Injury traffic accident vehicle vs pedestrian 300 East Alamar.
  • Medical Emergency for a subject in an altered state suffering anxiety West of the East Beach Bath House.
  • 594 Vandalism 4200 Block of Windmar.
  • 23152 Driver in a Ford Explorer with Utah plates Foothill and Ontare female with dark hair.
  • 484 Theft of Beer from the Shell Station in the 3000 Block of State Street.
  • 415 Disturbance at Amtrak.
  • Explosion and Structure Fire in a manufactured home I thought was a trailer 900 Block of Ward Drive. Oh forgive me I mistook a trailer for a manufactured home there is a big difference and I deserve 40 lashes for making this mistake.
  • Check the welfare of a subject in the 800 Block of East Gutierrez.
  • Possible structure fire on College in Santa Maria.
  • Suspicious Subject in the bathroom of I-Hop on Casitas Pass.
  • 1144 in the 1400 Block of Broadway in Santa Maria death in residence.
  • Medical Emergency difficulty breathing Oak Park across from BBQ.
  • Elderly female passed out 4000 Block of Via Lucero.
  • 415 Domestic in the 4000 Block of Via Lucero.
  • Medical Emergency 16 Helena female passed out.
  • Suspicious Circumstances blue pickup heading North on Milpas with a Seal in the back.
  • Fire reported out. Outside of Moby Dicks on the wharf possibly a vehicle.
  • Medical Emergency female with a head injury 2600 Block of State Street.
  • 1100 Block of DLV for a 415 Domestic.
  • Premise check Wentworth and DLG for a group of subjects drinking alcohol, doing drugs. The reporting party is concerned for the children living in the area.
  • 594 Vandalism in the 4600 Block of Carpinteria Ave.
  • Bicyclist down 945 Ward Drive.
  • 242 Near Entrance and Hollister, original call was someone "going nuts", yelling talking about someone being down subject left area on a bicycle West on Hollister. I don't know if he was ever caught
  • 273.5 Domestic violence 500 Block of West Carrillo.
  • Report of 2 males fighting on San Andres. Conked out after hearing that, zzzz.

    Scanner Roni Reports, Thursday:

  • SBPD assisting with Amgen going thru Santa Barbara.
  • Fire reported out in a trash can near Muddy Waters in the 500 Block of East Haley also started the bottom of a telephone pole on fire.
  • Overdose 1400 Block of South Broadway.
  • 415 Domestic Tiffany Park Court male threatened to 187pc the female that's Murder.
  • Dog Bite 4800 Block of Sea Ranch.
  • 1000 Block of Coast Village Road theft investigation.
  • Check the welfare of a code 40 down State at Mason.
  • Garden at Cabrillo, seizures.
  • Male feeling faint 535 East Yananoli.
  • 261 Rape investigation at the police station.
  • Hazard condition 1700 Block of Chino.
  • Medical emergency for heat exhaustion.
  • 1000 Block of Cliff naked male in a swimming pool and refusing to leave. I wonder if they are going to drain the pool?
  • I heard this Structure Fire on the scanner but did not hear the street right checked County fire Twitter and found two incidents same street don't know if they are related. Structure Fire in the 200 Block of Camino San Carlos this occurred around 1:49 pm, earlier there is a Structure Fire listed in the 400 Block of Camino San Carlos both in Buellton.
  • 20002 Hit and Run Chapala and Junipero possibly involving an elderly female.
  • Heard over the CHP Channel someone who was Grumpy was told to leave the city limits. That was all I heard about that. Told to leave the City Limits, in the Outer Limits.
  • 101 Carrillo off ramp loose dog going up ramp possibly in distress belongs to homeless subject sleeping in a sleeping bag obviously not watching his dog.
  • Female ripped off wine CVS 222 West Carrillo then sat out front drinking the wine.
  • Possible 459 Burglary investigation in the 300 Block of North Alisos.
  • Male with no shirt on a blue motorcycle rode his blue motorcycle shirtless thru a park in the 700 Block of Miramonte.

    That's it outta me for now. I do want to add once I figured out who the neighborhood Pooper was that was laying eggs in the driveway I contacted the SBPD and they helped break the man of his obsession and I didn't have to look at his skinny old wrinkly butt anymore. Thanks SBPD. If you see someone going poo or pee in your yard, call the police they will take care of it. But call as it is occurring not a couple hours later. If you call later on after the deed was done don't expect the police to open up an investigation with detectives and CSI involved. That will not happen, call when you are witnessing the crime. I'll shut up now. Have a Great Week End and Dog Willing, we will see you on Monday. Later, Roger


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