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Scanner Reports 5-14-14
updated: May 14, 2014, 7:00 AM

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Happy Hump Day...Will I'm sitting on a stool my chair gave out I'm in agony but at least I'm not on the floor. Hot,Hot,Hot, Out There, Drink Water a lot of medical calls out there concerning heat related illness. I'm not a doctor but they sound like Heat Strokes to me. Maybe some people can suggest how to stay cool. Not everyone has Air Conditioning some of us don't even have chairs. Been hearing some Road Rage calls out there; gotta keep the old Anger in check in this weather all kinds of Nasty things could happen when it's hot and people get angry. I heard a Road Rage call on Monday a bicyclist throwing rocks at a motorist I think it was somewhere on Montecito, possibly near Quarantina. I was taking a break at the time gets Hot as the Devil in my little oven and I can only take it so long. I think today I'll be heading out for bags of ice and cold drinks to put on ice. I was going to make me one of those Red Neck air conditioners I see on the internet but can't find any of those cheapo coolers at least not in the area I shop. I ain't got no car. I always had bad luck with cars and women and that's the truth. I'm not kidding both could send me into a raging Drunk. I'm not saying it's their fault I just gotta stay the HELL away from them steer clear so to speak. Of course I hope I have another vehicle someday, I could do without the woman.

There's this picture going around on the internet of a couple fellers sitting at a picnic table drinking beer, it says underneath the picture, "Were gonna sit here and drink beer till we understand women." and they are both skeletons. That's one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Gonna have to find me another chair. I had one sitting out in the yard cleaned it off bought it in the other day but there's a couple holes in the covering and I noticed a couple bugs coming outta there. I don't want those bugs coming outta my clothing. I may be an ugly old critter, but I'm a clean old critter. Anyway Heres Your Scanner Reports and remember; DRINK WATER CAUSE IT'S HOT OUT THERE!!!

Scanner Roni Reports, Monday:

  • 400 Block of West Los Olivos possible fall victim in an RV, medical call.
  • CHP was on a traffic stop at 154 and Paradise the traffic violator had a No bail warrant and went to jail, no go no 200 Bones go to jail.
  • Report of a subject possibly 5150 emotionally unstable yelling to the rear of the Alano Club, I used to yell at the rear of the Alano Club too.
  • Report of someone possibly under the influence walking in the middle of State Street from the 1000 Block, did that a few times too.
  • Medical Emergency seizures Dwight Murphy.
  • 459 Burglary to a vehicle 2100 Block of Bath Street 3 subjects ran when discovered one was in a back yard don't know if they got caught.
  • County somewhere trailer in back of a property abusive punk beating up a dog.
  • 415 Student in the office of D.P.H.S. Threatening other students and refusing to leave.
  • Abandoned vehicles a Lexus first block of North Nopal, a 98 Nissan in the 700 Block of Wentworth.
  • Burglary in the 800 Block of Holly.
  • 415 Domestic 300 Block of Bath Street.
  • Skydiver down into a Bridge in Lompoc I believe he's in Cottage hospital in Intensive Care per KEYT Morning news Tuesday.
  • Parking violation vehicle in Loading Zone parked 330 East DLG.
  • 415 Fight between 2 brothers 600 Block of South Fairview, the aggressing brother punched his brother in the back of his head and threatened to shoot him. He also cut his spokes I don't know if he did that on a bicycle or a motorcycle and then Daddy got involved helping the aggressor to get away in a Siena van I'd cut em both loose one of em has a warrant per SBSO.
  • Dumpster Fire fully involved in the 1100 Block of San Andres Street, investigator requested I hope it ain't the work of a torch.
  • 484 Theft of a laptop in the 200 Block of Alisal.
  • Medical emergency Pershing park subject bleeding from mouth abdominal pain.
  • Medical call 26 year old female with numbness in arm 3800 Block of State Street.
  • Non-injury accident involving an MTD Bus Milpas and Montecito.
  • Traffic Accident with minor injuries Storke at Glen Annie.
  • SBPD on a group Montecito at the tracks.
  • Suspicious Subject in his 50's wearing a blue hat khaki pants riding a blue bicycle watching children in the 1200 Block of East Yananoli.
  • Elderly fall victim head injury 300 Block of West Carrillo.
  • Subject tosses smoldering piece of paper in dry bushes 101 South Bound Carrillo off ramp, smoldering as in previously on fire. The fire department responded but found no fire, still it's hot outside and dry and We Don't Need No Stinkin Fires!
  • 2400 Block of Roblar trailer fire.
  • Report of an elderly woman with a walker on the Garden Street onramp of highway 101 this is about the 4th call in 2 weeks concerning her.
  • Ontare at State Street vehicle vs pedestrian.
  • 415 At Anacapa and Micheltorena involving someone who's keys were taken by someone else not sure but I heard a name and one of the subjects likes to drink so maybe the keys were taken away for a reason.

    Scanner Roni Reports, Tuesday:

  • My good friend Edwin was found dead this morning in Dwight Murphy Park I knew Edwin for 17 years since I moved down here to South Milpas What I knew about Edwin was that his wife was murdered and his house burned down around 30 or so years ago. After that he gave up on Society collecting recycling enough for beer and smokes and chose to live in Gods House under the Stars. He never had a bad word to say about anyone and in all those years I never heard him say a bad word about anyone, in fact I don't think I ever heard the man cuss. A lot of people loved Edwin fellow homeless people as well as many people who lived on the East Side of Santa Barbara where he rolled his cart collecting recycling people saved their recycling for Edwin, they fed him some even bought him gifts. Just the other day I noticed a new pair of black high tops on top of his cart. I hope someone gets those shoes. Edwin would be happy if they did for those of you that like to criticize Edwin for using the carts he had his own cart that someone bought for him but it was taken away by the powers that be. In fact thru the years he had several of his own carts. He lived the way he wanted to after his wife died, he read the Holy Bible every day and believed every word like a child he was a great man. One does not have to be rich or famous to be great. In Memory of Edwin aka Prez Ed. 3/2/58 to 5/13/14.
  • SBPD Running subjects for wants and warrants 101 NB Carrillo off ramp had a little trouble with a combative subject who did not want to go to jail. He went to the hospital instead, I'm pretty sure he's in jail now though.
  • Someone threatened through word of mouth that they were heading downtown to jump off the court house.
  • Somewhere in the county someone attempted suicide by overdose then cutting their own throat, I did not hear if they were successful.
  • 1144 Dead Body Dwight Murphy Park. 1
  • 144 Death in a residence on North Milpas.
  • Vegetation Fire Miguelito Canyon in Lompoc.
  • Vegetation Fire Storke at Calle Real.
  • Check the Welfare of a subject yelling State at La Cumbre.
  • Code 40, At the Fresh Market 222 North Milpas code 2 Medics.
  • Elderly male, or female fall victim MTD 1020 Chapala.
  • Over on Walnut Lane Granny is yelling at the Grand Kids, Knock it off Granny!
  • 459 Burglary to a vehicle LOOK OUT Park.
  • Multiple Medical on the Northside of Goleta for an elderly male, and an elderly female who also fell down and somehow slit her wrist?
  • Suspicious Note found inside of Montecito Bank and Trust in the 5600 Block of Calle Real.
  • Another medical call missed location 1144, Death.
  • Hollister and Auhay CHP on scene with a 5150.
  • Medical Emergency State and Mission for seizures.
  • Lazy Daze on Broadway in Santa Maria report of structure fire.
  • Noise complaint Jack Hammer before 7am.
  • 242 Assault 1100 Block of Coast Village Road possibly occurred Monday evening Fire and Medics responded.

    That's it outta me for now Have a great Happy Humpity, Hump Day, and Dog Willing we will all still be here on FRYday. Later, Roger


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