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Scanner Reports 4-28-14
updated: Apr 28, 2014, 7:00 AM

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Good Morning. It's Monday April the....Well it's April anyway and Monday. What would we do without Mondays? Without Monday we probably wouldn't have Sundays, or Tuesdays, if we didn't have Sundays, or Tuesdays, we probably wouldn't have Saturdays, or Wednesdays, or Thursdays, or FRYdays for that matter. Life would really be weird if there were no days. Without Days, we might not have Weeks, months, or years we wouldn't have any of these things. We might just be a blank picture on an Etch a Sketch waiting somewhere for someone to draw us. In Santa Barbara there is no shortage of people wanting to Etch A Sketch our lives to their way of thinking. Need I say more?

I was going to tell a story today about a good friend of mine named Chuck but I got other things on my mind and they won't go away. So that will have to wait awhile and funny I don't want to talk about what's on my mind I just wanna make things short and sweet today so I can go back to staring at the wall and scratching my head.

So here's your Scanner Roni Reports, FRYday:

  • Some dude named Brian who lives on Mandarin got ripped off for some tools.
  • Medical Emergency in a vehicle unconscious male crashing into other vehicles in the 3800 Block of State Street.
  • Alcohol overdose 200 Block of Oceano.
  • Somewhere in town traffic stop on a female with two DUIs in her record.
  • Threats investigation at the station.
  • 242 Assault Patient on Patient PHF.
  • Code 40, Drunk detained at the Airport.
  • SBPD was stopping subjects with shopping carts on the lower East Side near the beach for the report of someone transporting a dead body in a Shopping cart. I was told this by a homeless person I did not hear it over the scanner. I wonder where this person was taking a body in a grocery cart.
  • 101 Southbound of Hot Springs vehicle accident chest pains.
  • 415 Subject wearing a bullet proof vest throwing a bicycle down on the ground Vera Cruz Park. Maybe he's afraid the bicycle will shoot?
  • Trespassers on Gibraltar Road.
  • Adult male beating up a kid McKenzie Park 3000 Block of State Street.
  • Group of homeless disturbing others drinking raising hell talking SMACK.
  • 2 Males and one female snorting cocaine on a patio in the 700 Block of State Street. It's probably powdered alcohol.
  • Attempted burglary in the 2000 Block of Calle El Monte.
  • Report of a subject throwing rocks near the Carrillo Underpants, they are probably kidney stones.
  • Report of two women selling their bootys near JJ's Liquor Montecito at Castillo.
  • Medical Emergency for a broken hand across the street from JJ's at 331 West Montecito, I wonder how that happened.
  • Across the street from 331 West Montecito DUI Driver in the parking lot of Santa Cruz Market in a white Toyota truck.
  • Montecito Bank and Trust trouble with a homeless person. They probably don't like seeing a homeless person walk past their business.
  • 242 Assault 1100 Block of State Street.
  • 242 Assault investigation at Cottage occurred on San Andres.

    Scanner Reports, Saturday:

  • Someone took a trip outta town on a 200,000 Dollar warrant.
  • Check the Welfare of a homeless male at the Daily Grind who had been 242ed Assaulted.
  • Large Bag of Debris Southbound 101 at Glen Annie.
  • 101 Southbound at Santa Maria Way vehicle fire.
  • AMR Transport Cottage to Vista Del Mar.
  • 2 Homeless subjects disturbing 1200 Block of State Street at Starbucks.
  • Tunnel Road at Mission Canyon man down unknown reason.
  • Elder Fall victim facial injury in the 1300 Block of State Street.
  • 459 Burglary to a vehicle in the 1200 Block of Betteravia.
  • 484 Theft in the 5700 Block of Calle Real.
  • 415 Domestic 200 Block of South Voluntario.
  • Homeless male hanging out in a parking lot 8 or 9 days, and sleeping in the public restroom. He is now sitting in the middle of the parking lot wearing a black hoodie, in the 4400 Block of Hollister.
  • Hollister at Fairview Fire in the center divider.
  • 260 West Alamar, palm trees into wires then ZAP! Power outage.
  • Suspicious Circumstances white Nissan doors unlocked, engine running, nobody home 400 Block of East Micheltorena.
  • Subject refusing to leave the Harbor.
  • Suicidal subject on the East Side.
  • Motorcyclist down code blue the 150 at the 192.
  • Medical Emergency 1000 Block of Casitas Pass.
  • DUI Driver with knife, because it's not just dumb to drive under the influence. Driver pulled knife on reporting party who was attempting to stop him from driving. It worked out OK though the police pulled him over a block from County Jail.
  • 242 Assault at USA Gas 8 South Milpas.
  • 1145 Suicidal subject just got kicked off the Amtrak in Carp for not having a ticket, he told the conductor he was suicidal.
  • Vandalism to a vehicle on San Rafael.
  • Woman in tan RV yelling for help, in the 600 Block of Olive.
  • Fall from Bicycle rider goes code blue 100 Block of Dearborn.
  • Attempt 459 Burglary in the 400 Block of Orillia Del Mar.
  • Last thing I heard before I drifted off to Sleepy Land was a 415 Domestic where the man who called in stated he was being held against his will. Somewheres in the area of De La Guerra and Voluntario.

    Scanner Roni Reports, Sunday:

  • This is how I heard it, "Westbound lane near New Cuyama; a large pitchfork." Satan is Alive and Well in Santa Barbara County.
  • 23152 Drunk Driver in blue Tahoe in the 3400 Block of Calle Real 7CBE??? Registered out of San Jose.
  • Code 40, sitting in a vehicle 1000 Block of Mira Monte.
  • Check the Welfare of a drunk subject leaning against a traffic signal in the Garden Underpants.
  • Rite Aid candy bars .59 cents, 2 boxes of mac and cheese 5 bucks.
  • 23103 Blue Chevy convertible occupied by 2 males North on State from Canon Perdido.
  • 10851 Stolen Auto from Chapala Street a black Nissan Altima partial plate 5HRA???.
  • Some guy named Colby kicked his pregnant girlfriend in the stomach somewhere up in North County.
  • 1210 Cacique someone dropped off a couple kids in the wrong pool they are trespassing.
  • 20002 Hit and Run 500 Block of Canon Perdido involving a gold pickup truck.
  • Medical Emergency 29 South Milpas Diabetic problem.
  • Code 2 Medics at PHF for arm and leg swelling.
  • 415 Reporting Party arguing with the owner of a store in the 500 Block of State Street.
  • Early morning some type of electrical problem at the Salvation Army in the 400 Block of Chapala.
  • Dead Body in the 600 Block of State Street across from Metro 4 theatres.
  • Fire reported out at the Bridge House on Sweeney Road in Lompoc.
  • Twitchell at Clark suicidal subject.
  • Homeless female refusing to leave Hot Spots 36 State Street.
  • SBPD Premise check La Cumbre Junior High.
  • Stolen I-Phone found in IV. Wow really? I would never think to look there on Abrego.

    This guy told me today that he believes in giving Homeless people a choice: Get off the streets and be productive, or Death. Kind of reminds me of these two guys I met on State Street when I was houseless by choice over 30 years ago. They called themselves "Soldiers of God". They told me "Either you believe in God or we kick your ars." I believe in Dog but I told them I was into Satan from what I remember it's been so long they beat feet away there was no fight. I did not want one I just like having the freedom of choice and I do here too. I think if someone wants to sleep under the stars it's a beautiful thing and I wish I was young knowing what I know now. I would have dumped that girl and moved to Oregon back in the 80's. I might have camped out a little longer too. It's hard to believe that someone believes in killing the Homeless in Santa Barbara. "My, what a shocker!" For the record I don't believe in killing someone for choosing to be homeless. Between hearing this, and that call early this morning where they just whisked that guy off the street I got a little emotional, so what it doesn't mean I'm losing it, I lost it a long time ago anyway! Have a Great Monday and Dog willing we will see you on Wednesday. Later, Roger


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