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Scanner Reports 3-7-14
updated: Mar 07, 2014, 7:00 AM

By Roger the Scanner Guy

FRYday is Hair, Finally. Party Time for Many, the Butt End of the Week for those 9 to 5ers, and Trust Fund Babies Party Hardy but don't get in the car and go for a drive or violate others. Not many care if people get drunk or stoned it's the actions they perform while under the influence that bothers others because it usually ends up involving them, whomever they may be. Getting in the way of some drunks is like driving in front of a train and even after the train has run you over and you're laying on the tracks in little pieces, that train just keeps running you over again and again.

The other day this Drunk friend of mine was pounding and pounding on my door I just wanted to relax and watch a movie but this guy wanted me to listen to his problems over and over and over again, "The wife, blah,blah,blah". I'm not married. I don't have a wife. I don't want to hear about someone else and their wife. "She won't sleep with me she's my wife!" He yells maybe she won't sleep with him because he's been with every hooker on South Milpas. I wouldn't sleep with him either. Pound, Pound, Pound. "Lemme In! I'm worried about you Roger. Are you going to Hurt yourself Roger?!" Loud enough for everyone in the Hood to hear. I was thinking of pounding on my friend. Finally I just quit yelling at him cause I figured he'd just quit pounding on my door and trying to get in and I just wanted to relax and watch this movie, Cocoon. I've seen it a million times but I wanted to see it again; such a great movie, and there's no DRUNKS in the movie.

I went for a walk on Thursday to check out this thrift store on Milpas down at the other end it's only about a mile or so up there but I don't walk so good anymore. I took off early got to the store early, too early; it wasn't open for another hour so I headed back. All would not be lost cause I'd stop at 7-11 and get one of those Diet Cherry Cokes. Of course when I got there thing wasn't ready but there was a diet Fanta Mango Orange so I got one of those. Seems like everywhere I stopped didn't have what I was looking for or something was happening I didn't agree on so I just kept moving. At least I got in a pretty good walk. I used to be able to walk so much further, SNOT anymore. Funny thing I was walking past PetCo and heard this voice behind me,"Yea you better keep moving you big fat white Boy, keep running cause I'll kick your stupid white ars." I turned and there was this fella looking at me "Are you talking to me?" I axed, smiling at him. "No" he says pointing at the Security guard down at Trader Joes much further away. I know the guy could not hear him. Just another idiot talking smack and not even loud enough for the guy to hear. Then again maybe he was talkin to me.

Oh Well Here's Thy Blessed Scanner Roni Reports, Wednesday:

  • 415 Domestic 900 Block of Santa Barbara Street.
  • Injury traffic between vehicles Mission at DLV.
  • SBPD on a group 300 East Cabrillo.
  • 75 Year old homeless man refusing to leave parking lot 9.
  • 484 Theft from Avis rent a car at the airport.
  • Check the Welfare of a man down on the sidewalk 300 West Islay.
  • 415 Between 2 subjects near JJ's Liquor on Castillo one idiot known to carry a gun.
  • 484 Theft From Urban Outfitters on State Street.
  • 10851 Stolen auto Lompoc.
  • 400 Block of South Patterson hit and run.
  • 415 Subject refusing to leave 7-11 331 West Montecito.
  • 100 Block of West Mission one fiend in another's house yelling and breaking up his stuff. With friends like that who needs an enema?
  • SBPD on a group in the 900 Block of State Street.
  • 1000 Block of West Valerio subject 242ing the parents, 27 year old subject drove away in a grey Chevy Vega I didn't know they still made those.
  • Milpas and DLG Injury traffic accident.
  • Spinout into a tree, Highway 101 at Santa Monica.
  • Homeless drunk raising HELL at the Library.
  • On Cesar Chavez near McCormick's Gas subject asking motorists to run him over. You would think there would be a lot of volunteers for that the way people drive around here.
  • North County Parental Abduction Ex Wife took the kids to Texas, or was in the process of doing so after leaving a message for her Ex Husband.
  • Loose Pit Bull on Del Playa.

    Scanner Roni Reports, Thursday:

  • Female employee of Cold Springs Elementary showed up for work drunk, then when discovered, left. She was followed by another employee to the area of the Biltmore on Channel Drive the other employee thought she might be suicidal.
  • Unknown type 415 in Goleta City Hall SBSO put an end to it so quick I did not know what was going on only that there was a 415 Disturbance.
  • 900 Block of Anacapa Code 40, Homeless Drunk Disturbing.
  • 459 Burglary at the church at 204 Patterson.
  • DLG and State Street 415 Disturbance.
  • Medical Emergency rear of the IRC County Jail head laceration.
  • Suspicious Circumstances 3300 Block of Point Sal in Casmalia.
  • Broadway at Clark in Santa Maria 415 Fight involving 3 subjects one wearing an apron in front of Jack's Restaurant.
  • 415 Neighbors 800 Block of Roberto Ave.
  • 1118 East Cabrillo 415 Subject yelling at others. Male Adult in his 50's not wearing any clothes.
  • 242 Assault investigation at the station.
  • 500 Block of West Figueroa along the side of a house near a creek a male was being Lewd they did not say how he was being lewd but he was taken into custody.
  • Theft of a wedding ring on North San Antonio Road.
  • Suspicious Circumstances on the 1500 Block of Olive.
  • Suspicious Subject on the East Side of Sizzlers 5500 Block of Hollister.
  • Injury Traffic Accident 2 minor injuries Lou Dillon at Salinas.
  • Premise check Calvary Cemetery never know when you're going to run into the walking dead.
  • Bi Polar Wife off meds Husband attempting to transport but she's violent with him so he called 911 for help transporting her from County Santa Barbara.
  • Check the Welfare of a man passed out in a white car next to the pumps at USA Gas 636 West Carrillo with the engine running he woke up and drove away before police could arrive.
  • No answer at the Sober Center at 4:35pm maybe they went out for a drinky poo.
  • Hit and Run on San Andreas suspect last seen running East on Micheltorena wearing a wife beater tee shirt green and white for now he got away but left the vehicle behind.

    Will that is all outta me for now Have a Lovely Weekend and Dog Willing We Will See you on Monday. Later, Roger


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