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Scanner Reports 3-5-14
updated: Mar 05, 2014, 7:00 AM

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Wednesday Happy Hump Day to you and yours. I can't believe I got this to load. I'm having computer problems and Ed was nice enough to get me a refurbished one from Best Buy and it really doesn't work very well. I guess I should have known something was wrong when I took it out of the box and noticed that someone shot a little spray paint on it as if they knew Roger the Scanner Guy was getting it. They wanted me to have a little graffiti to go along with it. I actually thought the graffiti was a good Omen but I guess SNOT. Oh well I'd like to try and get used to this thing but I don't think it's going to give me a chance.

I was surfing the net the other day and found some Websites that are dedicated to Crime statistics. On one I looked up Santa Barbara and a list of the 10 best areas of town popped up. Hope Ranch was number one big surprise! Actually, all the better parts of town were on that list. One could spend a day or two here and compile that list. I was asked to do a list like that when I first started writing the Scanner Reports and damn near had a nervous breakdown because of crime being spread out all over the city. Although everyone knows nothing bad ever happens in Hope Ranch; that one hears about anyway. I remember the Samarkand area was a great area 10 years ago but now they have problems there between Oak Park and McKenzie Parks. Then there's burglaries here and there. Some residents get into trouble around there too. Haven't heard a lot lately but if I was to put them somewhere on that list I believe something would come out of nowhere and prove me wrong. I am a true believer of Murphy's Law. In all my years, Murphy's Law has been the rule. It's not negative; it just happens that way for some people, people like me. I truthfully could not put together a list of the 10 best areas of town because crime can happen anywhere at any time and most people don't know where it's going to happen unless they are connected to it.

I would say the best neighborhood in town is most likely the neighborhood where our chief of police lives. We don't exchange Christmas cards so I don't know where that is. When I was growing up and still lived at home, my Uncle John who was the chief of police lived on State line bordering Calumet City, Illinois and South Hammond, Indiana, and nothing bad ever happened in his HOOD. The mayor lived in my HOOD and sometimes things happened but I didn't get caught much. I don't do those things now. I can't run anymore. But the chief of police always has the best HOOD. I don't know where the mayor lives. I don't want to know either. As far as crime goes there are areas in town that would never get close to being on that list but if you were to look at other things like dedication, or good people, hardworking, a HOOD that looks out for others, that would be easier right off the top of my head: Mesa, San Roque, West Side, East Side, conflict of interest there because I live on the East Side and have always preferred the East Side to any other part of town since moving to the East Side in ‘86. Mesa, San Roque, East Side, West Side, The American Riviera North and South, Northside of Santa Barbara near Foothill; I think there are only 10 parts of town I feel a nervous breakdown coming on.

Oh Well The East Side is the Best Part of Town after all We Won We have one of the best neighborHOODS in America and to me this is why: We got Little Cesar's, Carls Junior, The Habit, Trader Joes, Tri County Produce, Taco Bell, Jack in the Box, Mc Donald's, Winchells, Fresh and Easy, the Fresh Market, Subway, Sal's Pizza, and hopefully someday Pizza Hut. If I forgot anyone please let me know. Heard that 7-11 Was going to sell Diet Coke Cherry Slurpees; I gotta check a few of those out to go with my Little Cesar's Cheesey Cheesey Bread.

By the Way those guys that opened up the Bicycle Shop a couple weeks ago vacated during the night. They just packed up all their stuff and moved on down the road. Kinda weird I guess maybe their business wasn't working out or something. When people used the restroom which was a few feet from one of my scanners they must have heard it because I heard some comments that were not very nice but they played their music kinda loud so I turned up the Scanner. I don't hear so well anymore, I'm wondering if the bikes they were selling were hot?

Anyway what was we talking about? Oh yea, Here's your Scanner Roni Reports, Monday:

  • Smoke investigation inside Office Max 219 East Guiterrez.
  • 415 Argument between 2 subjects in the 3200 Block of State Street.
  • SBPD Frank Units descended upon a camp near the Castillo underpants and captured a wanted felon.
  • A fella ran for Wants and Warrants at 35 East Haley had 3 2,500 Dollar drunk in public warrants.
  • Check the Welfare of a code 40,DRUNK passed out near the nursery at Los Positas and State Street cop said he was OK, I thought he was an advertisement.
  • Overdose in I.V.
  • 10851 Stolen auto recovery in the Rescue Missions parking lot 535 East Yananoli.
  • Wires down along with a tree into a resident which started a fire on Sycamore Canyon.
  • 23103 Motorcyclist traveling at a high rate of speed and popping wheelies Southbound on State Street pulled over at State and Canon Perdido
  • Report of a homeless Code 40, DRUNK exposing himself and urinating on the old Milpas Post Office.
  • Medical Emergency for seizures across from the Westside neighborhood Clinic on Micheltorena.
  • Suspicious vehicle a red Honda parked next to Sammy's camera with body damage on it like it had been involved in an accident.
  • Subject harassing customers at Amtrak 209 State Street.
  • Fall victim from a wheelchair Hollister at Storke.
  • Medical emergency at the Salvation Army 423 Chapala.
  • Suspicious circumstances on the bike path 100 Block of West Cabrillo.
  • Medical Emergency 500 Block of Anacapa.
  • Medical Emergency Garden Court 1100 Block of DLV.
  • 5150 Refusing to leave Casa Esperanza.
  • 101 Northbound Garden off-ramp Engine 2 was on a medical emergency and engine 2 needed more responders for Traffic Control.
  • 3900 Block of State Street Code 40, Wine drinker sitting in the center median with his legs in the street. After a while he got up and walked back and forth and was reported by numerous reporting parties to the police. Damn wine drinkers!

    Scanner Reports, Tuesday:

  • 415 Fight with sticks 1500 Block of San Pasqual SBPD Responded got one 3 got away.-
  • Suspicious subject older male with long white hair and a long white beard handing out orange bibles to kids at Carpinteria Junior High.
  • Panhandlers at the 76 Station on Via Real in Carpinteria.
  • Check the Welfare of a subject in the 500 Block of West Canon Perdido yelling and throwing things inside of a residence.
  • Possible 459 Burglary to a residence in the 100 Block of Pacific.
  • Check the Welfare of a subject down at Cacique and Alisos.
  • Check the Welfare of a subject who hears people in his attic in the 1900 Block of San Andreas I would not doubt it there's squatters up there in that attic.
  • Road Rage Incident in Carpinteria Southbound 101 where people in one vehicle were throwing glass bottles at the other vehicle then the aggressor driving a silver Chevy Silverado run into the other vehicle, I think a blue SUV. The victim never called the incident in but a reporting party did and they were following the aggressor last I heard they were Southbound passing Rincon.
  • 415 Subjects in Launderland drinking and playing the guitar 2600 Block of DLV.
  • Forced entry of a residence on a medical emergency.
  • Ill raccoon 1100 Block of East Cota.
  • Check the Welfare of a child crying in the 300 Block of South Voluntario.
  • Found Marijuana at La Colina Junior High in the 4000 Block of Foothill.
  • 2 Drunks hanging out at GVCH Now at Patterson and Hollister trying to make their getaway.
  • 23103 Reckless silver Mercedes on Mission and Alamo Pintado.
  • Anutter reckless driver in a grey SUV at highway 101 and Avenue of the Flags driving at erratic speeds.
  • Medical Emergency for a fall victim in the 4400 Block of Calle Real Goleta.

    This thing is working a little better but very slow. Kinda like me; I'm kinda slow too. Oh well since it's like me we will probably work out for a while. Anyway nothing is forever. Will, Have a Great Hump Day and Dog Willing We Will See You on FRYday. Later, Roger


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