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Scanner Reports 2-3-14
updated: Feb 03, 2014, 7:00 AM

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Good Monday Morning, Santa Barbara. Ever since the other day when someone told me their friend had one of those coffee makers that has the coffee ready to go first thing in the morning and a garden slug wandered in there and she drank part of it, I've been checking my pot with a fine tooth comb and a flashlight. I might step on those bastards have em get all squishy squashy between my toes but I ain't drinking one. Could you imagine? Yucky! I don't think I'd tell anyone I did that either unless of course it was a good tasting Garden Slug. If I had me a girly friend, I'd never tell her why; I'd never get kissed again! Every time she looked at my lips she'd see a big old fat Garden Slug! I always make my coffee first thing in the morning. I hardly ever clean out the reserve area where the water goes so it's usually damp in there, never really dry. But now I check it every friggen morning for slugs. Found a silver fish in there once but fish are supposed to be in water and I don't mind fish in the morning with my coffee.

I hope you're having a wonderful morning and having a good cup of coffee. All this cold weather back East I got to remembering out in that snow all the time hitchhiking all over the place as careful as people are now about being out there for hours and hours sometimes all night long. It's a miracle I didn't freeze to death out there and now I'm just a spoiled old man. Nowadays if you get your SUV stuck in the snow and you're out in the cold for a couple hours, you end up on the National News. They ought to interview the real homeless, those stuck in it all night long trying not to fall asleep because not many people wake up in that weather. It gets a little chilly here but it ain't nothing like back there. Nothing when it's below zero and the wind chill is cutting through your flesh like a thousand knives and there is nowhere to go not even for a minute to warm up.

I read a little thing a gal wrote on Facebook a couple weeks back where she was driving along this road and there was an older woman walking along the road it was bitter cold something told the gal to pull over so she did and the offered the older woman a ride. The older woman was Homeless and she told the gal that picked her up that she was headed out to the county hospital; that it was ok for her to go there and hang out during the day get warm and catch some winks. She asked the woman if she had something to eat and the woman told her she had a pack of gum. Well the Gal gave the woman a ride to the hospital and some money for food. I spent many a night wandering those streets back there when I was a kid but my body was different then; I was a lot younger. I can't imagine the horror of being an older person living in that freezing weather, but people do it and many die. The good thing nowadays is that it's recognized as being dangerous and you can get arrested being out in it by the National Guard in some places, who will take you to a warm shelter, and they will feed you too. This happened to me once back in ‘78 I believe it was after a huge snowstorm hit the Midwest and I was trapped in my sister's apartment in Fort Wayne for 3 days with her and her friends. It was the first and last time I would ever play UNO. The local grocery store gave everyone who could make it there 15 Bucks in credit for emergency food. We all got about 60 Bucks worth and my Sister was mad ‘because I ate a lot of it, so I says the HECK with all of you I'm hitching back to Hammond! And off I went out the door with a mandatory curfew and National Guard patrolling the streets. I got picked up trying to hitchhike outta town and taken into custody for my own good by the National Guard. They took me to this building next to the old Allen County Jail, a horrible nightmarish looking Hell Hole in Fort Wayne. There was some other guy hanging out there and as far as I could tell no one else had been picked up yet. I felt ashamed that I was the only one there. They put me in this big room with tables. There were cots to sleep on in the corner. One table had food on it and they told me to help myself if I was hungry. There was a big roll of Bologna there, a couple big jars of peanut butter and jelly and a huge pitcher of some kind of punch, and a couple loafs of bread. I ate a good deal of the food and drank most of the punch; after all I was a growing boy. I looked out the window. I was on the 2nd Story the snow was pretty deep and it was cold but there were a few hours before it got dark I noticed there were no locks on the windows so I just opened one climbed out, did a hang drop and walked on down the road. It was a few miles to route 30. I often wonder what those National Guard fellers thought when they went in that room found that I'd eaten most of that food and escaped. I bet they were mad. I made it to route 30 and there was hardly anyone out there on the road the snow was so deep that it hadn't really been cleared. It was flattened down; vehicles were traveling 15-20mph at best. I got a lot of rides but it took hours to get back up to Hammond. It usually took 2-4 hours of hitching, but it took about 10 that day. I made it up to Mama's place and everyone was so worried they fed the heck outta me which was good. I needed all the food I could get because I was a growing boy. I still am.

Here's your Scanner Reports, FRYday:

  • 101 Northbound at Los Positas there was a mattress blocking 2 lanes.
  • 415 Leaf blower on Baldwin.
  • 459 Burglary to vehicles 700 Block of Embarcadero Del Norte.
  • Suicidal Subject on Tourney Lane.
  • 23103 Reckless Driver Northbound on Santa Barbara Street white pickup truck.
  • Vons Fairview Shoplifter detained.
  • Didn't say what but suspicious circumstances at Cleveland School.
  • Semi blocking the roadway 1300 Block of Chapala.
  • Female juvenile panhandling 3900 Block of State Street near Pet Co
  • SBPD checking on 2 subjects in front of the library.
  • Fall victim from a bench with a head injury MTD 1020 Chapala.
  • Someone dumping old paint into a drainage ditch Old Mission at Hillside.
  • Illegal burn 100 Block of Wilson bonfire in a front yard. Those were the good old days when you could burn a pile of leaves along the side of a road seems like it would never start a bigger fire.
  • On Los Carneros a bicyclist down.
  • 242 Assault occurred in IV Patient in GVCH.
  • 415 Neighbors 800 Block of Jennings.
  • Detectives on the West Side of town investigating a suspicious death.
  • Illegal campers in the 900 Block of West Carrillo below a home where the reporting party lives.
  • SBPD on a group 1200 Block of Liberty.
  • Illegal dumping numerous RVs involved 100 Block of Quarantina.
  • Report of a homeless woman smoking in the restroom at McDonalds 1200 Block of State Street.
  • SBPD on a group 600 Block of State Street.
  • 101 Northbound North of Sullivan report of a vehicle fire.
  • On Olive Street to Arrellaga report of several vehicles vandalized.
  • At Opal in the 1300 Block of State Street a waiter impaled his hand on a ticket spindle, OUCH!

    Scanner Roni Reports, Saturday:

  • 415 Domestic at the Days Inn 2nd Floor.
  • Good Morning Illegal Campers still there 900 Block of West Carrillo.
  • SBSO Check the Welfare of an 8 year old boy alone on the Franklin trail.
  • 415 Domestic Terrorist inside of Starbucks1235 State Street yelling. I can hardly wait for Starbucks to come to Milpas.
  • Suspicious Circumstances CVS usually open at 7am still closed after 9am.
  • 415 Domestic between exes in the 400 Block of Bath.
  • Unresponsive male either in or alongside a dumpster in the 100 Block of East Carrillo.
  • Silver Nissan Pathfinder seen drinking from an open container of Vodka.
  • 1900 Block of State Street headed South group of 23103 reckless motorcycles over the double yellow lines and in the bicycle lane.
  • Unconscious Male in the Rear of the Canary 31 West Carrillo.
  • Subject disturbing 900 Block of State Street.
  • 415 Domestic 800 East Anapamu.
  • Stagecoach at 154, Smoke check.
  • Fall victim 200 Block of East Gutierrez.
  • 500 Block of Castillo fall victim upper deck of S.B. Athletic Club.
  • Uncooperative shoplifter Vons La Cumbre.
  • 415 Landlord tenant 700 Block of DLV Ongoing.
  • Walkaway patient from Cottage hospital.
  • Fire in oil barrel caused by cigarette at Sears 3800 Block of State Street.
  • SBPD on a group in front of the Habit 600 block of State Street.
  • Loud Music 1200 Block of Cacique.
  • 415 Domestic Terrorist refusing to leave Something's Fishy 500 State Street.
  • Fall victim at the Granada 1216 State Street.
  • Fall Victim head injury MTD.
  • Vehicle vs bicyclist injury 300 Block of Garden Street.

    Scanner Roni reports, Sunday:

  • 300 Block of West Haley report of a subject attempting to enter a structure.
  • SBPD Running a couple subjects for Wants and Warrants at the Labor Line came up with a wanted subject with warrants who was also a registered sex offender.
  • Medical Emergency at the Town and Country for convulsions.
  • AWOL Subject from a home in the 3700 Block of Mountain Drive.
  • Overdose on Heroin and code blue at the Motel 6 3505 State Street unknown if subject survived they were transported with engine 4 for manpower to Cottage.
  • 594 Vandalism 900 Block of State Street at the same business that called police for the sidewalk chalk drawers, maybe they came back and vandalized the business after it was closed.
  • Code 40,DRUNK Domestic Terrorist, State at Cota. Couldn't help it I was a Domestic Terrorist when I drank too!
  • Stolen auto 1200 Block of Santa Barbara Street.
  • 5150 Transport Cottage to Vista Del Mar.
  • Report of Subject down 700 Block of Chapala.
  • Medical Emergency 3500 Block of Baseline unconscious subject.
  • Kayak Down Southbound 101 right shoulder at Padaro, someone ain't gonna be very happy when they get home.
  • Medical Emergency Subject had a seizure and fell down a flight of stairs in the 900 Block of Castillo; Engine one and Rescue one responded for that. I hope the guy is ok.
  • Beat Down, Subject reported to have been beaten by several subjects on Carpinteria Street.
  • Subject in gold 4-Door sedan possibly registered in the 800 Block of Olive Street attempted to run over multiple subjects at Lookout Park in Summerland.
  • Broken waterline at Cleveland School 123 APS.
  • 484 Coffee in the market at 439 State Street. Shoplifter ripped the coffee off and then threatened to pour it on the reporting party.
  • Smoke investigation 200 North Milpas, another Smoke investigation 400 West Islay near 101.
  • Northbound 101 Exit 90 report of a female being beat up.
  • Subject having some type of an episode at the Faulding Hotel.
  • Vehicle Accident investigation at Cottage hospital, late report.
  • Suspicious circumstances possible missing persons investigation at Ralphs 100 West Carrillo.
  • 1145 Suicidal subject threatening to possibly kill the cat and himself I believe on Zink Ave in Goleta. I did not hear the street in the beginning but believe it was Zink Ave because of the code 4's after SBSO arrived.

    Why do people always go after cats? Cats are cool. Cats love you even if you hate yourself and others and even if you hate them they will still love you, cats save my life every day. Will that is enough outta me for now. I'd like to thank all the people that fed me on Super Bowl Sunday. I'm a growing Old man, you know. Have a Great Monday and Dog willing we will see you on Wednesday. Later, Roger



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