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Scanner Reports 1-29-14
updated: Jan 29, 2014, 7:00 AM

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Once again it's a Happy Humpy Day Wednesday. I woke up around 5am got outta bed to make coffee and stepped on a slug first thing. I probably should have gone back to bed. I made a pot of coffee and it tasted like scrap kinda salty I poured it out cleaned the pot somewhat and made another pot. I walked outside as it got light and there was yellow tape from the front of the house down to the corner it said "Caution" on it. I went back in the house and got on Facebook.

Liberal gnats had slammed me on a picture I posted about some attack that supposedly did not happen in our present time it was an "Old picture from a country that no longer exists do the homework." One gnat said. "America no longer exists either!" I mentally shouted at the gnat as I blocked him, Jerk! I showed him. I'll put up whatever picture I like!

Saw something in the news about a haunted house in Indiana. I've lived in a couple but I had to google it to see where it is; Gary, Indiana. There was a picture taken by my own Hammond police with what looked like a figure in the window posing for the shot, or so it seemed. No one will stay in the house not public officials, Police, not the previous renter who witnessed her daughter floating above the bed, and her son walking upside down on the ceiling. I lived in a house like that on Warren Street in Hammond. It was across the alley from a funeral home. The very first day after moving in I was napping at Lunch time on a Day Bed, heard a noise opened my eyes and there was an old woman sitting on my sofa. I never spent a SOBER day in that house after that. I was good and drunk every night when I went to bed after that! That place really scared the Holy Hell outta me. I don't remember if I walked upside down on the ceiling, and if I floated at all it might have been gas keeping me afloat.

I bet they could get the Homeless to stay in that house at least ‘til spring; especially if they heated it and turned on the lights. I don't know if it's still that way, but back in The Day many abandoned homes vacant after years and years still had utilities back East, I stayed in a few myself when I was a kid. If I was homeless in the Midwest I'd stay in that house. Nice toasty and warm, it's a couple below, and the Wind chill 50 below I think just about anyone or maybe a group of people would stay there together if they was homeless in that kinda weather. Of course the way it sounds maybe not. The House is getting a lot of media attention and has even been recognized by the Great Catholic Church as being haunted. No one may be allowed to stay there.

With all this scrap going on in my head first thing in the morning I decided to pop a calming down pill and I did and I felt so much better after some time realizing that the scrappy coffee taste probably came from the snacks I was chomping on the other night while watching a Clint Eastwood movie. It's a bummer because snacks are just about all sugar or salt and I'm supposed to have neither. Does anyone in Edhat Land know where in the HELL someone could score no sodium, no sugar snacks? Besides the diabetics, the mental illness depression and anxiety, I got high blood pressure too. GO AHEAD, TROLL AWAY. There are worse things to have. Just a couple suggestions of snacks would be nice before I switch from hot wings to right wings for my snacking pleasure. I wonder what they snack on at the County Jail. Do they get snacks at the County Jail? They should as part of a Balanced Diet we want to keep our inmates healthy. I've noticed a few negative comments about how our Jail is run and I wonder how some of you would run it? How would you run the county jail? How about our City Police Department? I'm sure our police chief and Sheriff could use some pointers. Don't be bashful, share. Don't let the trolls get to you either. What would you do about the Homeless on State Street? Feel free to share what you would say to the ACLU too. Just watch the words you don't want to get deleted, and end up with me in the Penalty box. Share if you Care to Share.

Here is Thy Blessed Scanner Roni Reports, Monday:

  • On Arrellaga a guy in a white Sebring with a black convertible top was reported to be beating a female in the vehicle although he had left before police arrived he was pulled over on highway 101 Northbound possibly ID'd and released.
  • 242 Assault Ex-girlfriend assaulted ex-boyfriend at Santa Barbara Auto Group.
  • In the 6600 Block of Sueno SBSO was looking for an Assault suspect named "Maggie"
  • Report of a 20001 Injury hit and run with the victim not getting medical treatment at SBCC West Kiosk, suspect vehicle a black Mustang.
  • UI Subject on Cocaine with heart trouble at the Ranger station at Hendry's Beach.
  • Report of a subject going peepee behind JJ's Liquor Police found a group of people behind the liquor store, unknown if they were all going peepee or just watching.
  • Report of a couple 242ing Assaulting each other at Anacapa and Canon Perdido.
  • Minor injury traffic accident 1000 Block of Cliff Drive.
  • Medical Emergency for someone who's dizzy on Betteravia in S.M.
  • SBPD checking out a pedestrian at 7 South Milpas Carl's Junior.
  • Suicidal Subject on DLV with a history of stepping into traffic. I'm surprised they are still alive around here.
  • Fall victim on the pier at Goleta Beach.
  • SBPD on a group 400 Block of Castillo.
  • North Pacific at Clark in S.M. Vehicle vs Pedestrian.
  • 2400 Block of Country Lane 242, Assault.
  • Nopalitos and Carpinteria male on top of a female straddling her while drinking booze and doing drugs.
  • Assault 617 State Street in the back of the building subject down with head injury.
  • Code 40, Drunk at Cottage ready for the sober center.
  • Illegal Campers down near a Dumpster near a Pizza Joint on Meigs Road.
  • Some guy took a leak on the window at Joes Cafe in the 500 Block of State Street.
  • 3 Vehicle non-injury traffic accident in the Garden Underpants; a silver Mercedes, a white Mercedes and Lincoln Town car, one driver possibly 23152.

    Scanner Roni Reports, Tuesday:

  • I guess the new thing to do when there is not a bathroom available is to pee in the entrance of businesses. Yesterday it was Joe's, Tuesday K-Mart , someone peeing on a palm tree at the entrance to K-Mart. I don't know if they caught the idiot, a male in his 60's last seen heading towards Storke but they were really looking for him. I guess what really gets me about that sort of thing is that it's real disrespectful and I wouldn't want someone like my mom seeing that.
  • 594 Vandalism subject broke a window at Cantwell's 1500 Block of State Street.
  • Premise check 101 Southbound off ramp at Milpas looking for campers. They was fighting at that off-ramp last week.
  • Garden at Islay non-injury traffic accident.
  • Cabrillo at Calle Cesar Chavez on the beach male possibly mistreating a dog walking Northbound, wearing all brown like a turd.
  • Subjects drawing with chalk on the sidewalk in the 900 Block of State Street, warned to stop.
  • Suicidal subject on San Pasqual.
  • Suicidal Subject 5000 Block of Hollister.
  • Report of man down on the sidewalk at Broadway and Carmen fire and medics code 3.
  • 5150 415 Subject disturbing at the candy store 200 Stearns Wharf.
  • Report of possible Child abuse victim at the Boys and Girls club 5900 Block of Via Real.
  • 2900 Block of Padaro Possible Panga boat traveling North at a high rate of speed big grey boat with no cabin.
  • 5700 Block of Alondra in Goleta Traffic accident and possible 415 Fight.
  • 415 Subject refusing to leave Tyler's Donuts on Casitas Pass, they better go if they know what's good for em.
  • San Andreas at Pedregosa fall victim with a facial injury Fire and Medics responding.
  • Suicidal Subject SBCC 700 Cliff Drive.
  • Code 40, DRUNK in custody 3600 Block of State Street.
  • Fire reported out, outside of 924 Anacapa engine 6 responded and sprayed water in the area where the fire was.
  • Medical emergency for a female in and out of consciousness 2400 Block of State Street.
  • 200 West Carrillo subject refusing to leave Spudnuts Supervisor requested and code 2 medics.
  • On Colleen Way a brother possibly under the influence of Heroin is attacking his sister and her boyfriend possibly with a fork.

    Will that is all outta me for now Have a Great Hump Day and Doggie Willing We will see you on FRYday. Later, Roger


     

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