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Scanner Reports 12-25-13
updated: Dec 25, 2013, 7:00 AM

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Merry Christmas to one and All on this Glorious HUMP DAY! Guess what Day New Year's lands on? Been hearing a lot of Drunk Driving going on lately and if you're sick of reading it well, read something else. Years ago when I was working security I was getting off work real early in the morning one day I was waiting for the light to change at Hope and State when this old Olds went flying by swerving all over the place. Someone taught me how to tell a drunk from a sober driver, but this guy needed no test; he was all over the road and if it wasn't 3 in the morning there would be dead people all over the place. I got on my 2-way radio and called him in and followed staying back a bit. I could not believe he didn't hit anyone in the 1800 Block of State Street. He was doing 50 or 60 ish and bouncing off the curb, me and the PD Boxed the guy in at Carrow's at DLV and Carrillo. He wasn't drunk at all he was tired and kept falling asleep at the wheel. I could not believe it. He thanked me for following him and calling the Police.

Another time I followed a drunk driver while calling the police thru a radio that person pulled over pulled out a gun and fired it in the air. Scared the Hell outta me. Over a few months' period back in the late 80's I followed many people from Carrillo to Goleta who were driving drunk or under the influence and helped around 30 of em get busted. Sometimes I hear a lot of 23152 Driver calls, sometimes a little but it's one law many people like to break. It's not just the police you have to watch out for you have to watch out for anyone armed with a cell phone because Baby they are all watching you. That is where all the calls come in people following drunk drivers while reporting them; it's dangerous if you get too close.

Back then I was a kid and felt like nothing could hurt me if I had a car I'd still be turning in drunk drivers when I see them. I got someone in front of my house one day after hearing a Be on the Lookout over the Scanner it was a 417 Brandishing a butcher knife. Sometimes after I hear a Be on the Lookout I'll go outside and wait to see if the criminal is going to cruise by. On this day this one did. I called it in WHAMO! SBSO got em at the Ventura County line. People return the favor too; last week I was walking in the 200 Block of North Milpas and I stopped to pull up my pants because they felt like they were going to fall down and we can't have that. I put all my stuff on this wall I was facing and straightened out my pants. When I was done I grabbed my stuff and turned around. Two vehicles were pulled over near me both people were staring and gabbing on the phone to someone probably telling them I was tinkling because that's what it looked like. I got my crippled butt the HELL outta there! Oh Well. This is Christmas Eve. Things were great a few days ago but I just got to thinking about stuff and got depressed as HELL. I have a friend back home I never met but he's on Facebook and he connected me and my best friend who I haven't seen or spoken to in 35 years or so, anyway this new friend of mine is going through it too. I was really down and out there a bit I'm having some horrible problems walking can't lift my legs up no more it got me really down ya know? Anyway went to Little Cesars, got a poor man's PIZZA! PIZZA!, smeared it with chilies and hot sauce. Not depressed so much anymore. I swear those Pizzas are a cure all! I'M HEALED BY THE GRACE OF MY INSANITY and Little Cesars Woodchipper PIZZA! PIZZA!

Oh well here is thy blessed Scanner Roni Reports, Monday:

  • SBPD on a group first East Haley.
  • At the Norman Nursery in the 5800 Block of Via Real in Carp a water flow problem and small fire quickly squashed by the fire department.
  • 459 Burglary to at least one vehicle but maybe more at the Cabrillo Inn 901 East Cabrillo.
  • Wants and Warrants someone has a 200,000 hundred thousand dollar warrant and will be leaving town for Christmas.
  • I missed the exact location but it sounded like Calle Real in Goleta man 40-50ish dressed in black got out of a vehicle and tried to light the
  • contents of a grocery cart on fire. That is what it sounded like anyway I could have crossed calls?
  • Unknown suspicious circumstances in the 1000 Block of State Street.
  • SBSO Activity seeking a wanted subject in the 2500 Block of State Street they caught him.
  • Domestic violence investigation 700 Block of Olivera, North County.
  • Suspicious circumstances in the 4000 Block of Via Lucero, more near Hope School they would not say what the circumstances were.
  • Suspicious Nissan on North Kellogg.
  • Somewhere someone burnt the cookies.
  • Drug activity behind the House of Laundry 310 North Milpas.
  • 400 East Figueroa Suspicious circumstances, subjects attempting to steal statues off someone's property.
  • Subject down in the parking lot at 1020 Chapala.
  • Audible alarm 600 Block of North Salsipuedes.
  • BIG JERK Blocking sidewalk in front of Killer Bees 700 Block of State Street 6'6 wearing back pack.
  • Sinton and Ray Road Santa Maria or thereabouts Barn on Fire.
  • In the city of Santa Barbara at a bank ATM Machine someone found someone's personal ATM card with blood at the scene also, I missed the location. Be careful around those ATM Machines.
  • Report of two drunk juveniles throwing things at passersby and yelling at them on Rutherford in Goleta.
  • Been hearing this a lot; kids laying on skateboards and riding them in the street good way to become a Speed Bump. On East Montecito this time.
  • Illegal campers white RV 1800 Anacapa.
  • H and S Drug violations 100 Block of West Victoria.
  • Some guy dressed all in white ripped off a back pack and a coat from K-Mart maybe it was an angel.
  • Graffiti in the area of the Cajun Kitchen, Chapala at Canon Perdido 7-8 subjects on scene.
  • 207 Kidnapping suspect pulled over by Santa Barbara County Sheriff just south of Turnpike on highway 101 late Monday Evening and taken into
  • custody. Did not hear the beginning of the Kidnapping call just the best part where they got the bad guy.

    Scanner Roni Reports, Tuesday, Christmas Eve

  • Want to Thank those Edhatters that made my Holiday a little brighter; Mesarats, Beverly, Pam and Bob, Sue, those who sent cards. Thank You very much if I missed anyone Oh yea Sharon and that Police Officer that bought me a Little Cesar's Pizza. Thank You all so much if I forgot anyone feel free to show up and give me a Spanking. I like those too! Shakey Got YA! Thank the Good Dog for Willie Nelson too!
  • Two in custody 400 Block of Rose don't know why? Code 2 medics there also for stomach pains.
  • Hazard investigation strong odor of sewage in Carp on Palm Street.
  • Someone called in a check the welfare of a guy curled up alongside highway 101 sleeping it turned out to be a couch cushion.
  • Report of a man wearing a purple shirt attempting to open car doors at DLG Plaza.
  • Drunk driver in a Jeep Cherokee Cliff at Loma Alta.
  • Report of a drunk sitting in the middle of APS 2000 Block.
  • 20001 Hit and Run in the same general area 2 vehicles involved white Dodge Charger Arizona plates damage to front of vehicle hit and ran. Unsure if drunk sitting in the road had anything to do with the crash.
  • 101 Southbound at Refugio vehicle rollover.
  • 300 Block of APS Kids laying down riding skateboards, taking a real chance doing that.
  • Manual pull fire alarm in the 3700 Block of San Remo.
  • 1200 Block of Castillo 415 Neighbors.
  • 1100 Block of Garcia Road suspicious Circumstances, and CSI.
  • 415 Room Mates 1000 Block of Del Sol.
  • 10-12 Shots heard fired up the Rattlesnake Trail. No Response; it's Quail Season. Yea but what if it was the Quails with the guns?
  • Check the Welfare of a woman alcoholic no longer able to care for herself on the East Side calls like that just make me want to cry.
  • 415 Domestic couple in a green Toyota on 154 up near Windy Gap check their welfare.

    Will that's enough out of me for now. Have a Great Christmas HUMP Day and Dog Willing we will see you on FRYday. Later, Roger


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