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Scanner Reports 12-23-13
updated: Dec 23, 2013, 7:00 AM

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Monday. Two more Shoplifting Days before Christmas. How's your Holiday shaping up so far? Mine is heading south. It always does right before it gets here. I always have good intentions it always looks like it's going to be great then SPLAT! HELL in a Hand basket every year all I can do is laugh, crying sucks plus you get a cold. I'm very grateful that I'm not homeless, drunk, or in jail. I'm very grateful for good friends, especially those who send their husbands over to my HOOD with a Loaf of Holiday Bread. I'm grateful for many things, but I guess my past still haunts me and it always will no matter how much I try to put old bad experiences away; they are still there. I used to have this great friend who was in Vietnam. He had PTSD. He would get off work and drink till he passed out every day. He could not survive any other way. He was successful in life with his career but as soon as he got off work Vietnam was there. He could not function normally; drinking was how he dealt with it. He's retired now and lives elsewhere and I'm sure drunk all the time.

People deal with things in different ways. Most people don't have PTSD, so they can't relate and don't understand. That's just the way it is for some of us human beings. I have long accepted my life Good, Bad or Indifferent. I always get through it and leave my Woodchipper out of it. I enjoy the comments from the Edhatter who says "I think you're extremely sick in the head all this Woodchipper talk. I think Dr. Phil can cure you; you ought to go on TV, I don't like hearing about you sticking people in a Woodchipper it's not NORMAL." I almost went that route a long time ago now I'm glad I choose to get drunk with my friend Armando the Vietnam Vet, I was going to be on all those TV Talk shows telling America about what it's like for a young man to be raped, I was working on a book I did one public interview and got drunk. I'm glad I didn't write that book or do those interviews. I'm grateful I got drunk...I love my Woodchipper even if it's not real. If I ever win the lottery I will have Woodchippers all over the place. Woodchipper tee shirts, watches, charms on charm bracelets, key chains, I love Woodchippers and it's wonderful therapy to imagine sticking a Sex Offender in a Woodchipper. I don't care what anyone says they did not have the experience I did. I don't want to see Dr. Phil or any other headshrinker for that matter. I saw this one counselor years ago and she helped me get through most of it. Besides these sex offenders like to torture and control people and a Woodchipper is a wonderful place for them to go! As far as I'm concerned those who defend them could go too! "All Aboard into the Woodchipper you go!!!" All this talk about Woodchippers is making me HAPPY. I'll have a great Christmas yet. It's a Wonderful Woodchipper! I think the people who are recently bothered by Roger's woodchipper are Lawbreakers of one sort of another. The negative woodchipper comments started after I mentioned tossing drunk drivers in a woodchipper. I wouldn't really throw anyone in a woodchipper unless it was legal.

My friend Sharon informs me that there is a Grinch out there trying to ruin Christmas at the Milpas Roundabout as someone smashed the solar panels in the center of the roundabout which kept the tree lit. Sad that jerks gotta ruin it for everyone. All those volunteers that got up early in the morning and put that all together I guess there is someone or something's always around to ruin one's day. I am looking total forward to our Christmas meal this time around it's all going into the Crock Pot for a 7 hour soak. Lima beans and Ham all spiced Cajun style. Yum yum I cannot wait and plenty of good hot black coffee.

Hairs thy blessed Scanner Roni Reports, FRYday:

  • Unknown type 415 at the Fremont Camp Ground off Paradise Road.
  • Possible casing on Barker Pass couple in a green Isuzu Rodeo male and female.
  • Medical Emergency for someone vomiting blood in the 100 Block of West Victoria.
  • Overdose behind 231 West Haley in the alley.
  • Threats investigation 816 Cacique.
  • Medical emergency on Veronica Springs road for a fall victim.
  • Illegal campers in a blue RV 500 Block of East DLG.
  • 500 Block of East Arrellaga trailer parked in the red.
  • Report of a subject sleeping too close to the RR tracks 22 South Fairview.
  • Non-injury traffic accident blocking intersection State at La Cumbre.
  • DLV at Sola vehicle vs bicyclist.
  • Villa Santa Barbara head pain after a fall medical emergency.
  • Mutual assault in the 700 Block of West Islay.
  • SBPD running a subject for Wants and Warrants the subject is a registered arsonist among other things.
  • 484 Shoplifter 13 year old boy at Macys.
  • Medical emergency outside Casa Esperanza seizures.
  • I hear car alarms going off in the distance.
  • Subject a large male walking West from the 100 East Arrellaga Block acting suspicious.
  • Child Welfare Services requesting to meet with SBPD in the 2400 Block of DLV.
  • Crime Scene Investigation in the 2600 Block of DLV.
  • Medical Emergency on San Julio 5600 Block lived there 30 years ago.
  • 5 Subjects drinking in the 500 Block of State Street.
  • SBPD running another subject on parole for 288 Child molestation and on probation for 20002 Hit and Run. Should we assume this subject is going to continue breaking the law?
  • 415 Domestic investigation 3845 State male has left but the woman is still on scene.
  • 415 Fight near Los Banos Pool 2 subjects.
  • 459 Burglary to a vehicle at Loma Alta and Shoreline.
  • Shoplifter detained at CVS.

    Scanner Roni Reports, Saturday:

  • 23152 Driver drunk in dark green Ford pickup truck with Gardening equipment inside from 8 South Milpas.
  • Mutual Combat 242 Assault in the 1100 Block of DLV over parking.
  • Occupants of a Black Toyota Camry dumped a small white Poodle either on or near Highway 101 last seen on East Valley Road toward San Ysidro. Partial plate 4GKA6?? Friggen Dirt Bags.
  • Medical Emergency 500 Block of West Los Olivos seizures.
  • Report of juveniles throwing trash cans at Skaters Point.
  • 415 Domestic at the Carpinteria Bluffs male swinging at a female trying to hit her, threw her car keys, JERK! He's associated with a VW Passat much like himself, grey in color.
  • 459 Burglary at the Glen Annie Golf Course.
  • Medical emergency for a laceration at the Bacara.
  • Report of a female down in the restroom next to Fiesta 5 Theatres.
  • 1900 Block of San Marcos Road a case of Fraud.
  • In City lot 10 a purse was found on top of an electrical box.
  • Threats Investigation occurred Samarkand at Santa Anita.
  • 23152 Drunk Driver white Dodge van Eastbound on Cota registered 1400 Block of East Valley Road.
  • SBSO Detectives took down a suspect in a white Toyota Tacoma at Anacapa and Cota unknown reason.
  • 484 Shoplifter in custody at Nordstrom.
  • Suspicious circumstances a grey sedan at a high rate of speed North on Milpas from 101 driver wearing a white mask. Maybe he's a Super Hero.
  • Fall victim head injury Samarkand.
  • 2 Men followed a woman to an ATM Machine at Carrillo and Anacapa she confronted them and they walked away toward Parking lot 9.
  • 242 Assault 331 West Montecito Adult male struck kid, slapping him across the face then drove away in his Dodge Durango back to Lompoc ca partial 6PFH9?
  • Medical Emergency rear of the IRC County Jail internal bleeding.
  • Fall victim broken nose 1300 South Bradley Santa Maria.
  • 1100 East Foster code blue 1144 Death.
  • Fire check Deer Trail at Quail Valley, no fire.
  • 101 Southbound at Turnpike report of a vehicle fire.
  • Illegal Campers in the trees Chino at Carrillo.
  • Medical Emergency inside an aircraft on the ground at Hanger 4 Santa Barbara Airport.
  • 261 pc Rape possibly in the first block of Anacapa, the Harbor and Beach was also mentioned.
  • SBPD on a subject near the SBFD Training tower 30 South Olive.
  • Subject disturbing at Spudnuts 200 West Carrillo.
  • Suspicious circumstances reporting party hearing several auto alarms going off in the HOOD, and reporting party thinks there could be some auto burglaries taking place.
  • Down here that is usually a loud HARLEY getting on the freeway.
  • 415 Domestic in a blue Nissan in front of Albertsons 3900 Block of State Street.
  • Suspicious circumstances in Cottage ER Involving an Elderly patient.
  • 1000 Block of East DLG Medical emergency.
  • 300 Block of West Micheltorena Medical emergency involving a 7 month old infant.
  • Suspicious Subject walking North in the 300 Block of Soledad.
  • SBPD Officer pulled over a bicyclist in the 200 Block of South Milpas.

    Scanner Roni Reports, Sunday:

  • 211 Armed Robbery at 3618 State suspect dressed in black carrying a black gun, wearing a black mask.
  • 415 Argument over a Warming Fire at Cota and Garden.
  • Subject refusing to leave the Shelter at 816 Cacique.
  • Report of a major pile of trash in Plaza Del Mar.
  • SBPD on a group at Castillo Southbound at highway 101.
  • Medical Emergency 700 Block of Hot Springs for Food Poisoning.
  • 700 Block of Castillo 415 between neighbors.
  • Sexual Battery Investigation in the Lobby of the Police Station.
  • Shots Fired 2 of them near the 100 Block of South Milpas called in by Yours Truly.
  • Be on the lookout for a code 40 DRUNK walking on Milpas Southbound from Cacique wearing shorts, and black shirt.
  • 415 Male yelling in front of the Granada Theatre.
  • 2 Loose Pit Bulls tan no collars Montecito at Voluntario.
  • 1200 Block of Bath Street 594 Vandalism investigation.
  • Medical Emergency for an unresponsive subject in the 500 Block of North Ranch.
  • Report of a suspicious subject walking around in the 1900 Block of Chino.
  • 415 argument between a male and a female in the 700 Block of West Islay.
  • 10851 Investigation Vehicle Theft 1900 Block of Emerson.

    Will that's enough outta me for now Have a great Monday and Dog willing we will see you on Christmas. Later, Roger


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