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Scanner Reports 12-9-13
updated: Dec 09, 2013, 7:00 AM

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Will it's Monday once again. Only 17 more shoplifting days till Christmas, and some people are wasting no time and doing just that. I don't spend as much as some of you. This is the time of the year when being the Black Sheep of the family really pays off. I do have friends and I get some of them gifts I have to be tight because I'm poor as HELL. Some people get offended at that. Excuse me all to HELL. I don't ask them to buy me gifts, nor expect it. I was thinking of buying a case of 2 Buck Chuck as it gets closer to the Holiday for those people that love to surprise you with "Top the Gift". They give me a hundred dollar gift card I give them a jug of 2 Buck Chuck. Either that or they could have my teeth. I don't wear them. I bought several boxes of cards and lots of "Forever" stamps to send out Christmas cards. I wanted to get some really pretty Christmas cards, expensive ones, because I've finally made it to the age where the greeting is worth far more than the gift. Turns out the prettiest cards I could find were the cheapest. I hope people send me cards because I have several boxes stacked up.

I love Christmas, always have. I don't always celebrate it as the Dog's Birthday; I find that most people that do talk a good talk near the Holy Days and make up for it the rest of the year by screwing everyone around them and not the good way. I love the spirit of Old Saint Nick and I'm blessed. I just happen to look like him from my jolly gut, white hair, and long beard and all but I will never be a Santa Claus; horses couldn't drag me, LOL. Unless of course I play and win the Mega Lottery on the 10th where the jackpot is around 344 Million Dollars! I wouldn't put it past Old Nick to fire up the Reindeer and fly down here early from the North Pole to play the Mega Millions. I know exactly what I would do if I won all that moola. I'd buy a nice piece of land, have a big ranch built, then take in every unwanted stray animal I could. I'd take in a couple stray people in to help run it too. It would be called "Black Sheep Ranch." Back to Reality, but I'm still going to play. Another thing I love around this time of year Christmas Tea Trader Joes carries this Vanilla Cinnamon stuff that's really good and it's only a couple of bucks! A few years ago when I was going to one of the Food Banks around here for food I was given a box of Christmas Tea, it wasn't from Trader Joes. It was very old and the ingredients inside had aged if you know what I mean. Boy! It Lamb blasted me! Kinda like the time I made pine needle tea and got the wrong pine needles.

My family and friends are pretty simple to buy for; my mom loves books so she's getting James Patterson and Bill O'Riley. I have a sister who is a Christian so she's getting Guideposts. I love the magazine as when I was a runaway they were my favorite magazines to find in a Doctor's office and read. Belinda is getting a 49er Hoodie. She's a Football fan and loves the 49ers having lived in Oakland. She says they know how to throw a party. I can't say what I got Shakey, or his wife Christine; they read the reports. If I win the Mega Millions everyone will get something. A bottle of 2 Buck Chuck for everyone in town! It could get kinda rough this time of year too because this month is the Anniversary of a girl friends death. She was probably the only woman who truly loved me and was willing to put up with my scrap. I know it's hard to believe but I can be a real JERK. In fact she used to call me that. Other members of my family used to call me that too. I thought she was the one because of that, but she wasn't just a really great friend that was in my life for a few too short years; a blessing in the rough. I haven't met anyone since so I'm available but SNOT interested and no longer a Hoop Jumper and neither is Pooh Bear, so there. There sure has been a lot of crime this week and violence. Hopefully there will be less of both this coming week.

Here is your Scanner Reports, FRYday:

  • Rollover accident Painted Cave at 154 Fatal, not sure how.
  • 400 Block of East DLG 5150 with a knife and landlady in apartment he believes is filling up with Snakes.
  • Report of a male 60-70 years old dressed in black jumping in and out of traffic near McDonalds 29 North Milpas.
  • Female escapes in older Nissan Can't Stanza after attempting to Shoplift from the .99 Cent store.
  • The 5150 from the 400 Block of East DLG walked away from Cottage and is back home waiting out front.
  • 5150 At the VA Clinic tried to shoot himself was unsuccessful unarmed now in the 4400 Block of Calle Real.
  • Illegal Camper near the Habit 628 State Street.
  • Motorist reported red liquid all over the State at 154 intersection turns out a truck lost load of red wine.
  • Female driving a vehicle having a mental breakdown pulled over at Bath and Pueblo.
  • Unknown medical emergency 315 West Carrillo.
  • Check the Welfare of two young children with adult male who is panhandling at the Vons Fairview.
  • 242 Assault on Betteravia Street victim at Marian Hospital.
  • 5600 Block of Berkley 415 Family domestic.
  • 415 Homeless person refusing to leave the bathroom at Amtrak 209 State Street.
  • Drunk refusing to leave the Thai Restaurant at Orange and Hollister.
  • Medical Emergency at PHF for a subject throwing up blood.
  • 23152 Drunk Driver in Black Mercedes on San Andreas toward Loma Alta.
  • Code 60 black pickup truck blocking 1400 Block of San Andreas.
  • Non-injury traffic accident First East Haley.
  • Anonymous Location a woman came home found a suicide note from her husband. Fire, Medics, SBPD Responded. Her husband was found dead in the residence.
  • Homeless subject harassing patrons at Arch Rock Fish.
  • Woman hiding in a bathroom of a fast food restaurant possibly being followed by man with a gun possibly on Orcutt Road.

    Scanner Reports, Saturday:

  • Illegal Campers 2 in wheelchairs near Mac's 501 Anacapa and 5 other illegal campers alongside the Laundromat.
  • SBSO on scene with someone trying to cut themselves with a fork.
  • 500 Por La Mar check the welfare of a subject down in the planter.
  • 400 Block of Alisal out of control under the influence Subject possibly foaming from the mouth ran into the visitor center SBSO responded not sure how they calmed him down but have a good idea.
  • "Keep the Peace" while a subject picks up his I-Phone from an address in the 800 Block of Cacique.
  • Report of a possible medical emergency at the Town and Country motel unresponsive female wedged between the door and wall Fire, Medics, SBPD Responded for forced entry. No one was in the room possibly a trick to skip out on the bill.
  • There was a call for an unresponsive code 40, Drunk at 1209 State Street turned out to be some type of disturbance that might have involved a robbery.
  • 273.5 Domestic Violence 500 West Canon Perdido.
  • Medical emergency fall victim .99 Cent store.
  • Shooting on North Blosser Santa Maria heard it was a stabbing but read Shooting later on.
  • Medical Emergency seizures 7300 Block of Hollister.
  • A subject went to go pick up his cell phone and the DIRT BAGS that have it in the first block of Orange in Goleta would not give it back unless he coughed up 200 Bucks!
  • 300 Block of East Haley full fire response for a possible structure fire turned out to be a BBQ.
  • 400 Block of East DLG same address but different apartment than the snakes a male 242ed a female.
  • Medical Emergency Mission Terrace 84 year old woman difficulty breathing.
  • Fall victim Montecito and Castillo.
  • 20002 Hit and Run investigation in the 2000 Block of Gillespie.
  • Behind the 700 Block of State street possible drug activity.
  • Check the Welfare of a disoriented elderly person Arlington at State Streets.
  • Hazard investigation Reporting party accidently locked themselves out of their home and there is FOOD ON THE STOVE, 300 Block of West Islay.
  • Engine 13 was on scene of a vehicle fire 101 Southbound, I missed exact location.
  • Group of Homeless threatening and Harassing passersby 628 State one subject threatened to stab someone with a dirty needle.
  • Medical Emergency for seizures at the jail.
  • Loud Music at the Boys Club 602 West Anapamu.
  • 3800 Sterrett broken water main.
  • 300 West Micheltorena people yelling.
  • Suicide attempt on the East Side by razor blades.
  • Solo vehicle accident East Valley at San Ysidro Driver Fled left car.
  • 211 Armed Robbery with a gun Far Western Liquor Store 3400 Block of Orcutt Road.

    Scanner Reports, Sunday:

  • Suspicious subject carrying a violin was following a guest at the Best Western at 2:30am now he's back attempting to get close to other guests 300 Block of West Cabrillo.
  • Reckless Black Mercedes exited 101 at Milpas South vehicle registered in Oxnard.
  • 415 Subjects playing Soccer in the street 6:30am 200 West Montecito.
  • 415 Someone screaming "Stop!" in a house behind O'Reilleys Auto Parts in the 400 Block of North Milpas.
  • 7400 Block of Hollister 415 Family domestic.
  • 415 Subjects arguing at the bridge 1210 Cacique Street.
  • Report of subject with a gun male brown jacket, jeans, black handgun Police were unable to locate.
  • Dine and Dash 100 Block of State Street male black jacket jeans sunglasses, last seen headed toward Amtrak SBPD searched for him, found him, he admitted the Dine and Dash but the restaurant would not press charges. Why call the police then?
  • Pedestrian attacking vehicles breaking side view mirrors in Isla Vista.
  • 2800 Block of State Street man with big stick breaking out windows at a motel, SBPD Responded had him at Taser point and arrested him without further incident. Occupants of room with broken windows became 415. Police requested back up. They quieted down a bit after police responded. This is a good example of people NOT to rent a motel room to. Always make sure they got a real credit card.
  • There was also a code 2 medical call for a cut hand at the same place.
  • 1800 Block of Highway 154 vehicle accident unknown if injury.
  • Check the Welfare of a female down at Arrellaga and Garden.
  • Medical Emergency heart attack 200 West Cabrillo, I hope they make it.
  • Medical Emergency ill female at Trinity Church 1500 Block of State Street.
  • SBPD Officer on foot in the 3900 Block of Via Lucero.

    That's it outta me for now. Have a great Monday and Dog Willing We will see you on Wednesday. Later, Roger


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