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Scanner Reports 9-2-13
updated: Sep 02, 2013, 7:00 AM
By Roger the Scanner Guy
GOOD MORNING SANTA BARBARA! HOPPY LABOR DAY! It's Monday and this heat is melting me, I wish it would melt the fat off my gut. I've tried to eat less and better but I don't think I've lost much weight can't really move too much as it hurts like hell. I guess someday I'll just float away from the gases and pop when I get high enough. I was looking at my neuropathy the other day and my legs really look like HELL. It sucks I used to be able to walk a few miles every day SNOT anymore. Be grateful for what you got because someday it's going to be gone. Darn this heat all to HELL I heard of a few heat related instances over the weekend fainting, heat exhaustion, even heard of an Irish wolfhound so overcome by heat the poor feller passed out. A woman called 911 for help and I do hope it got there in time; that was up in North County.
Mr. Pooh Bear was mad at me all weekend for not leaving the windows open all night so he could get some air. I love my cat but sometimes it's like being in a relationship, "Meow, meow, meow, nag, nag, naaaaaaaaaaaag!" I have my windows open in the evening but not all night. With my luck Old Bubba be in my bed the next morning trying to snuggle up to me if I left my windows open. Be like the guy who left his Toyota unlocked in front of the Biltmore Saturday night. Sure enough Sunday morning Bubba sleeping in the driver's seat facial tats and all. I could hear it now, "Don't bother locking the car Dear, this is Montecito nothing bad ever happens here. It all happens in Santa Barbara over there on the other side of the cemetery." When I first moved here when I was young I split for a couple days when I got back my place was Hot as Hell, all stuffy no air so I opened the place all up and went across the street to shoot the Bull with Shakey. I came back about an hour later thinking my place would be smelling sweet all that good fresh air running thru it, but my door was shut, and locked all my windows too. I took out my keys put ‘em in the lock twisted went to open nothing it would not move. I went around the other side and looked in the window there was some stiff laying across my door locked in my pad. I went back to the other side and pushed and shoved almost breaking the door but I got it open, "Get Up you scum sucking maggot!" I yelled. The idiot gets up and starts swinging at me making contact a couple times. I dragged him out the door then down the driveway he said something else can't remember what it was so long ago but I picked him up and tossed him into some cactus that used to be alongside our driveway. He screamed really loud for a long time when he got out of the cactus he hobbled away. A week or so later I heard he got drunk and ripped off a bus of course he got caught and went to prison. About 10 or so years after I tossed Steve, that was his name, into the cactus he comes by and Thanks Me it seems after the Bus Incident he decided to sober up and had over 10 years including the time he spent sleeping with Bubba. I don't leave my door open or unlocked anymore even when I take out thy blessed garbage, nor do I leave my windows open at night. I bet that guy who left his Toyota unlocked in front of the Biltmore is gonna lock his car up from now on.
Will Hairs Your Blessed Scanner Roni Reports, FRYday:
Suicidal subject a female staying in a trailer near Casa Esperanza, all I heard about that.
3892 State Street Suspicious Subject in vacant unit holding a door shut so a locksmith cannot get in to change the locks. Not sure if this was a storefront or what but person ran before police got there and escaped capture sounds like a squatter I hope he remembered to flush the commode.
100 Block of Oak Hill in Lompoc woman with overheated dog passed out requesting help an Irish wolfhound I hope the dog made it.
Check the Welfare of a 5 year old boy left home alone in the 600 Block of Patterson.
594 Vandalism investigation in the 3100 Block of State Street.
415 Domestic in an RV in the 3900 Block of Via Lucero.
Overdose 1800 Block of Woodlawn.
20002 Hit and Run on Storke near McDonalds white SUV last seen headed toward the freeway.
Central Coast Nursing fall victim head injury.
Traumatic Injury 7400 Block of Hollister worker fell thru a skylight when Fire got on scene they realized the worker was dead.
I didn't report the 1144 as suck because I got that call mixed up with the next one.
Alcohol overdose 6600 Block of Del Playa.
Possible jumper Cold Springs Bridge no one was there when the police arrived. Actually heard 3 Possible Jumper calls from Cold Springs Bridge last week.
Code 40, Drunk man urinating on a blue Toyota Sienna in the back parking lot of 705 Bath Street.
2 Idiots on bikes yelling at passersby 300 Block of State Street.
Another couple of Code 40, Drunks harassing passersby in the 200 Block of State Street.
104 West Anapamu Code 40, Zombie down next to the mail boxes he must be outgoing mail then.
2 Dogs locked in a car on a hot day in parking lot 9 900 Block of Anacapa.
On Picasso at Embarcadero a lite skinned drunk male got out of a vehicle that closely resembled an unmarked undercover police car and walked away.
Medical emergency heat stroke in a red Toyota 220 West Carrillo, last I heard medics were looking for the vehicle
300 Block of Toro Canyon Road property manager attempting to have employee removed.
Attempt 459 Burglary to a vehicle 1500 Block of San Leonardo.
Check the Welfare of a dog tied up and barking in the 3300 Block of Foothill Road.
594 Graffiti DLV at Cottage Grove.
Report of 3 Shots fired in the 4500 Block of Foxen Canyon Road.
Theft investigation room 202 Central Coast Nursing 3880 Via Lucero.
2200 Block of St. James auto alarm going off in white SUV, I'm surprised no one shot that SUV I kept hearing calls for that auto alarm.
Scanner Roni Reports, Saturday:
211 Robbery victim hit in face with a bottle robbed around 3am 132 South Milpas near Cacique.
415 Female raising HELL at 30 Winchester Canyon.
Prostitution reported at the Hacienda Hotel in the 3600 Block of State Street. And that ain't the only place where that kinda Hokey Pokey goes on.
800 Shoreline bonfires on the beach.
Unresponsive male in the elevator at city lot 9.
415 Fight brewing at the Faulding Hotel 15 East Haley one subject in a wheelchair.
White Ford Ranger DUI on Salinas street from Punta Gorda.
Northbound on Garden from Micheltorena elderly female driving a green station wagon with two flat tires.
415 Fight next to the Football Stadium at SBCC.
Female fall victim head injury at State and Ortega.
1300 Block of highway 154 vehicle over the side non-injury.
1200 Block of East Mountain Drive trail rescue.
Fall Victim off the trolley head injury Cabrillo and State.
Fall victim 90 year old male 227 East Anapamu.
Code 40, Drunk male down next to a truck 300 Block of Castillo.
Leaf Blower violation 100 Block of East Los Olivos.
Check the Welfare of 5 small doggies in a silver van next to Moby Dicks.
Check the Welfare of 4 children home alone 4200 Pozo Circle.
Female driver detained by SBPD in the 100 Block of Canon Drive, don't know why.
617 State street 415 Transient harassing passersby.
2 Women 415 Arguing at Planned Parenthood.
2300 Block of Red Rose landlord tenant arguing over eviction notice.
Suspicious Female subject wearing a green bikini telling people that she is an undercover police officer then going thru their bags near the East Beach Bath House 1100 Block of East Cabrillo.
800 Block of Deer Pass Road report of 10-12 Shots Fired.
Gang Fight near Indio Muerto 12 Subjects one with a long knife, Indio Muerto and South Salinas, Police found some subjects 300 Block of South Salinas but I think they ran away.
Later on there was some type of activity in the 1900 Block of San Andreas police were chasing more subjects result of another 415 Fight one subject injured ran away also.
Scanner Roni Reports, Sunday:
261 Rape suspect vehicle 400 Block of Chapala I don't know if that is where the crime occurred. Suspect was reported running from two males up State Street and captured near Hot Spots it sounds like he might have resisted capture a little but Police arrived quickly. WHERE'S THE WOODCHIPPER?
West Betteravia in Santa Maria vehicle rollover.
415 Argument or fight in an apartment in the 500 Block of Bath Street.
Code 40, Drunk at Cottage they are waiting for his Blood Sugar to go down so it will be safe to take him to jail.
7-8 Males illegally camping behind 415 West Gutierrez.
Attempt 459 R 6700 Block of Del Playa.
1300 Block of Garden disoriented subject the SUN is frying some brains out there.
Smoke investigation 400 Block of Shoreline. Palm tree in the middle of the road. I wonder what the palm tree is smoking to be in the middle of the road like that.
Report of one shot heard near El Greco Lane.
Wanted Subject with Felony warrant gave police the slip in the Carrillo Underpants I'm sure they will get him later.
Fire is requesting SBPD assistance with a pickup truck in the Carrillo Underpants I don't know why. I took a break and caught the call now.
Parking problem Lexus blocking city lot 2 on the 2nd level.
Fight brewing in front of the Rescue Mission.
415 Domestic Yananoli at Calle Cesar Chavez.
Possible 459 Burglary to an apartment in the 300 Block of Ellwood Beach Drive.
Assist Harbor Patrol on a 23152 Driver who was on Stearns Wharf but ended up in the parking lot of the Beach House Restaurant.
415 Subject following reporting party and threatening offender is named Craig 6'4 200 pounds I think I was 6'4 200 pounds at 13.
Fall Victim in the 100 Block of West Cabrillo Fire and Medics responding.
Hazardous condition damage to the road Arrellaga and Sola after a water main break.
Suspicious subject in a black van 2500 Block of Chapala.
Illegal Camper in the 600 Block of Cornel 25 foot RV.
300 Block of West Clark Heat Stroke.
Will that's it outta me it's a Hot, hot day and the drunks won't leave me alone I just want to listen to Willie Nelson and be left the HELL Alone but they keep talking to me I'm a nice guy when I'm sober. Earlier one of them drank this cheap Tequila in a plastic bottle and he started chasing me. He started throwing blows and I picked up my Trader Joes Granny Kart and he ran right into the wheels with his jaw it was great!!!! Almost knocked his old ars out, then he and his son who pounded a 12 ounce Coors, The Banquet Beer started playing tag team on me like I was DOGzilla or something. I thought I was gonna have a heat stroke I was laughing so hard I ended up spraying them both with the hose; got Gentleman Jim's pickup all wet. I drank a lot of water today and I still felt like HELL. I must really be outta shape for an old geezer myself. Will have a Great Monday and drink a lot of WATER! Doggie Willing We Will See you on WednesHUMP DAY! Later, Roger
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