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There Once Was A...
updated: Feb 10, 2013, 9:03 PM

By Edhat Subscriber

Can any Edhat readers create a limerick with a reference to Santa Barbara?

Comments in order of when they were received | (reverse order)

 NATURE BOY agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-10 10:20 PM

There once was a street we called State
Used to host many businesses great
But the store-fronts that came
Are now corporate same
And we shop at the stores that we hate.

 

 COMMENT 373020P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-10 10:21 PM

beauty surrounds us / ocean is glistening blue / serenity now

 

 COMMENT 373021 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-10 10:22 PM

oh, sorry!!! i thought you said haiku.... ooops!

 

 COMMENT 373023P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-10 10:32 PM

These rhymes are a bit forced, and tis a sad tale.

A friend who came from Santa Barbara,
Did puff every day on a Marlboro
His lungs, you can guess
Were soon a big mess.
And now I must serve as his pall-bearer.

 

 NATURE BOY agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-10 10:57 PM

If Santa Barbara, Marlboro, and pall-bearer rhymed, it would work. But...

 

 MESARATS agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-10 11:49 PM

Good one Nature Boy.

 

 COMMENT 373033P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 12:46 AM

Santa Barbara is my kind of town.
It makes me feel up when I'm down.
The mountains are fine,
The sunsets devine.
Lucky me, for I'll ne'er sport a frown.

 

 COMMENT 373034P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 12:48 AM

"divine." silly spell check.

 

 COMMENT 373037P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 12:59 AM

In Santa Barbara the stars are all out.
By day and by night we do scout.
If by chance we should see
A celebrity free
We all save it later to flout.

 

 COMMENT 373038P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 01:11 AM

There once was a boy with one thought
Santa Barbara was his chosen spot
To kiss all the girls And hug all the boys
It was great, as he really was hot.

 

 COMMENT 373044 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 06:33 AM

There once was a bum from Saint Babs
Who begged for change and had crabs
He took tourists' money
And thought it so funny
As he dined on his meal of sand dabs

 

 COMMENT 373048 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 06:50 AM

Santa Barbara snuggles the ocean
Nestled between it and it's mother, the mountain
Everyone can see The natural beauty
And can't help but want to move in

 

 BJGREEN agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 06:54 AM

Oh, my kind of town is Saint B!
Twixt the mountains so high and the sea.
I never will leave her
‘Cause I’m a believer
In her quality of life and esprit!

 

 COMMENT 373058 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 07:42 AM

There once was a town named Santa Barbara,
where many a fine ship weighed anchor in the harbor of.
A man who trimmed hair, opened a quaint shop there, and hence he was known to all he was shown, in that quaint town, as the finest, most desired barber of.

 

 COMMENT 373061P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 07:50 AM

There once was guy near the Mission

Am stuck; can anyone continue?

 

 COMMENT 373063 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 07:54 AM

One day a new Santa Barbarian
Was wondering where on the 'net he can
Find local news,
Cure free ad blues,
T'was told Ed Hat'd make him a merry man!

 

 COMMENT 373064 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 07:54 AM

There once was the village Syuxtun,
where folks danced by the light of the Moon..
But then ships found our coasts & turned us to ghosts,
Now the whole place is headed to ruin...

 

 COMMENT 373067 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 08:02 AM

There once was guy near the Mission
He'd come Santa Barbara for fishin'
But such a fine site
Made the best of fish bite
Somethin' he'd willing go missin' on

 

 COMMENT 373069 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 08:06 AM

Homeless, helpless
What can I do?
I've got all of these bums askin' for a dollar, or two
I must say no and go on my way
Because my employer
A living wage does not pay

American Riviera
That's what they say
But after our layoffs
All I smell is decay

A small ocean view
I confess I do have
But what good is that
When gas costs $4.02?

Negative, whiny
What can I say?
I live in Santa Barbara
Where my bills I can't pay

 

 COMMENT 373071P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 08:09 AM

There once was a gal from the East Side

....

 

 COMMENT 373073 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 08:09 AM

There once was a guy who lived near the mission,
he lived in Santa Barbara so he practiced attrition,
His friends and lover had all left
he was most certainly bereft
He tried to bring them all back but he was no magician.

 

 COMMENT 373075P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 08:11 AM

There once was a Lady McCaw

 

 COMMENT 373079 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 08:19 AM

There was a young bum from Nantucket
Who came to St. Babs with his bucket.
To beg for our change,
O'er State Street he'd range,
To non-givers he'd curse, "Oh, go ..."

 

 COMMENT 373081 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 08:23 AM

In these twin towns that love to compete a
choice is made on which street a
homestead is hipper
and the living more chipper
I'm glad I don't live in Goleta

 

 COMMENT 373082 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 08:24 AM

C'mon NATUREBOY it ain't a contest.

 

 COMMENT 373084P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 08:27 AM

There once was a tourist from L.A.
Who came to Santa Barbara for play

 

 COMMENT 373087 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 08:31 AM

I came to StaBarb with this dude
Who likes when I dance in the nude
So I work at the Rhino
And life is just fine-o
But some of these guys are so rude!

 

 COMMENT 373097 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 08:46 AM

It once was a sleepy beach town

whose ambiance garnered renown

and now all that's left are the rich or bereft

or the middle class left with a frown

 

 JMAC agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 08:47 AM

There once was a saint called Barbara,
Her mountains surrounded her harbra,
But then climate changed,
Her sand rearranged,
So again we can surf at Bacara.

 

 JMAC agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 09:05 AM

That last one was my husband's, but mine's better:

There once was a beautiful town,
Where red tile and stucco abound,
It's a heavenly spot,
But the best thing we've got:
Everything Daily Happening Around Town!

 

 COMMENT 373122 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 09:08 AM

There once was a site called ed-hat
Fire season was where it was at
But the nanny came around
Brought conversation to the ground
Now snark rules all of our chat

 

 COMMENT 373132 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 09:15 AM

You win, Nature Boy!

 

 COMMENT 373137 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 09:22 AM

Well I came to StaBarb with this dude
Who likes when I dance in the nude
So I work at the Rhino
And life is just fine
Oh, but some of these guys are so rude!

There, that's what I meant to say, and I think it reads better---don't you?

 

 COMMENT 373138 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 09:23 AM

A homeless guy in S.B.
Was bathing in his own pee
Helene Schneider
Said we should be kinder
And now he lives next door to me

 

 COMMENT 373147 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 09:30 AM

I was a goody two shoes from 30 minutes south
when at 11 my mom divorced my dad what a louse.
I was sad cause my new friends were loco but was happy for two summers at Ranch Oso! I woke up surrounded by boots and more
for the poor girls could not stand my snore!
A boy even liked me and he was kinda cute
but a girl got jealous and stole my loot.
For since I was five I asked for a horse
and when told; search: it was for an appy of course! I found the perfect most beautiful horse he was only nine
and when a nice stall and corral was found, he was mine!
Alas the girl next door was an expert rider even gymkhana
ditching me on her bay arabian mare sauna.
I learned how to ride a young high-strung mount
and only fell three or four times if I count.
I didn't have a saddle and only a wisp of a mane
but hide and seek was the name of the game.
Our trails were narrow and winded around
and there was just me and busy no other sound....

 

 COMMENT 373151 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 09:37 AM

137 - Your first one adheres more properly to an accurate limerick format which requires specific rhyming lines and number of syllables.

 

 FLICKA agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 09:39 AM

Some really talented posters! Thanks, enjoyed them. Didn't enjoy a spelling correction to a poster who made a typo. Good gravy, does it make people feel better to pick away at others? Just putting salve on their own insecurities, I think.

 

 ARCHIE agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 09:49 AM

There once was a city so fair
everyone wished they were there
even the people climbing the steeple
found no place that could compare

 

 COMMENT 373201P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 10:36 AM

Can't think of a second line:

"There once was an Edhat snarker"

 

 COMMENT 373212 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 10:54 AM

@201
there once was an edhat snarker
without a handle as a marker
they hide in plain site
with grammar a fright
nanny makes edhat much darker

 

 COMMENT 373227P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 11:24 AM

Good 202 - very funny. Excellent,
signed 201 and never a snarker.

 

 MESAJIM agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 11:29 AM

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Santa Barbara's ugly,
Don't move here.

 

 COMMENT 373245P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 11:53 AM

There once was a local called Roger
...

 

 COMMENT 373246P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 11:54 AM

There once was an Edhat nanny...

 

 COMMENT 373251P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 11:59 AM

There once was and still is an Edhat nanny
It's said she/he/it has a big derriereee
But never do fear
'Cuz it's just a smear
Against the sibling of Big Brother Jerry

 

 COMMENT 373254P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 12:02 PM

There once was a lad from Montecito
who was busily chewing on a Frito
------Can anyone help to finish this?

 

 COMMENT 373264 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 12:11 PM

All the trolls can be found at Edhat,
they will comment on any this or that.

The don’t have a life and they love to cause strife,
because their brains are the sizes of a gnat.

 

 COMMENT 373267 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 12:25 PM

079 for the win!

 

 COMMENT 373278P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 12:59 PM

There is a local named Roger
He's proficient but can show a streak of Old Codger
His life experiences net
To introspectively vet
We gain from a man we've not met

 

 COMMENT 373289P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 01:21 PM

Yay for the limerick including Roger. How about one including the News Press or owner?

 

 COMMENT 373309 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 02:05 PM

There once was a lad from Montecito
who was busily chewing on a Frito.
Can any help gimmick
To finish this limmrick?
I got one, but isn't so neato!

 

 COMMENT 373312P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 02:11 PM

There was a young girl in "Cito
She turned up her nose at Fritos
Her servant, she insisted
Grind corn unassisted
And make them from scratch to her delight

 

 MACSCIDOR agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 02:16 PM

There once was a mid C A coast
with no freeway or train to boast.
Neal Graffy can name
the people that came
and made Santa Barbara a grand host.

 

 COMMENT 373320P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 02:19 PM

I cancelled my subscription
Because of shenanigans
Like it's choice of Bill Wallace's photo, for one
I re-newed my subscription
After Wendy took over
It's improvement is bar-none!

 

 COMMENT 373337 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 03:17 PM

137, if you add an O to fine, the two lines will finally rhyme.

 

 COMMENT 373341 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 03:22 PM

O79 was pretty funny and everyone else needs remember the first two lines rhyme, the next two rhyme and the last rhymes with the first.

 

 COMMENT 373393 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 05:03 PM

There once was a town by the sea,
where they'd party til quarter to three.
Their folks in L.A.
would happily pay
For their "schooling" at UCSB.

 

 AUNTIE S. agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 06:50 PM

|Nature Boy nd 079 are winners in my book. Some of you need Meter Maids

 

 COMMENT 373475P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 07:20 PM

OP here - thanks to a-l-l who responded. Especially on informal Edhat it's ok to have poetic license. These were fun.

 

 COMMENT 373488P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-11 07:52 PM

There once was a girl on East Haley
- - - - Can anyone help with this one?

 

 COMMENT 373550P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-12 01:23 AM

A gal on East Haley I knew
Said, What's a woman to do?
Should I take money
to be someone's honey,
or - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ?

Couldn't quite figure out the last line, maybe someone else can finish this one?

 

 COMMENT 373689 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-12 11:09 AM

Wendy McCaw, it is true,
Was a highly unlikable shrew.
She said to VonWeezle,
"You parasite measle,
"I OWN you, now fire the crew."

 

 COMMENT 373781 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-12 03:19 PM

The Cliff Room, The Press Room, then Sharkeez,
The Neighborhood, Brewco, and Monty's,
On to Mels and then Joes,
A quick stop at Jimboz,
Then back to the Sportsman for more, please.

 

 COMMENT 373832 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-12 04:58 PM

@550P
A gal on East Haley I knew
Said, What's a woman to do?
Should I take money
to be someone's honey,
especially since I'm a dude?

 

 COMMENT 374140 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-13 04:58 PM

OK I just read through each and every one of these so-called limericks, and ALL BUT ONE fails to follow one or more rules regarding limerick making (metering, syllables, rhyming, etc).

Congrats 781.

 

 COMMENT 374151P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-13 06:02 PM

Congrats and thanks to all who contributed whether it followed the Rules of limericks or not. Mostly, these were fun reading.

 

 COMMENT 374192P agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-13 08:44 PM

@140: There is no @781. I see several limericks here that meet all the criteria--rhyming, pentameter, etc.

 

 COMMENT 374256 agree helpful negative off topic

2013-02-14 07:48 AM

192P - 781 refers to 373781, just a few posts away from yours.

And name ONE limerick here, other than 781, that strictly follows limerick rules, and I'll tell you why it doesn't.

 

53% of comments on this page were made by Edhat Community Members.

 

*** One comment was removed from this thread by the Edhat Board Nanny for violating Edhat Comments Board policy. Click Here to see it.

 

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