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Scanner Reports 1-18-13
updated: Jan 18, 2013, 7:00 AM

By Roger the Scanner Guy

FRYday, FRYday, FRYday, Thank Dog it's the third FRYday of 2013!!! I was talking to my friend Maggie the other day and she was telling me that she has a friend that lives up in Santa Maria. This friend tells her that up there they hear the News of Santa Barbara. That's funny because down here in Santa Barbie we hear Santa Maria news. So if you want to get the down low about what's going on in your neighborhood here in Santa Barbara move on up to Santa Maria and watch the news.

More good advice if you ever find yourself getting into it with someone and you find it necessary to call the police. Calm yourself down a bit before doing so and try not to say the wrong thing to the police. I won't say what I said to a police officer the last time they were here but I did not call them that time either. The otter day I heard a domestic 415, and one of the parties mentioned that they might have a gun. Not a good thing to say to the police especially if you don't have a gun and you're just talking smack or your just trying to get them there sooner. That sort of talk can backfire on someone; no pun intended.

I'm on the hunt for anutter office chair if someone has an old office chair they don't want or need anymore, please let me know thru Edhat and I'll try to get someone to pick it up ASAP. If you would like to barter something for it I got all kinds of junk laying around for the choosing. Spank You Spank You very much! As I said earlier in the week I had some plumbing problems will the landlord was able to find this feller that came highly recommended we called him and within a short period of time he showed up. He is very nice professional and charges reasonable rates he even uses a computer, I have never seen a plumber with a computer. His name is Chuck Hancock and you can reach him by calling 805-451-0056, tell him Roger sent you.

With that hair is your Scanner Roni Reports, Wednesday:

  • 600 Block of Eucalyptus Theft investigation, a few 5150 calls in that area recently too.
  • 1600 Block of Garden street 459 Burglary Investigation.
  • 1145 Suicidal Subject employee of Bacara left area might be headed to Ventura to say goodbye to family members.
  • There was a report of a fully involved trailer fire on El Cielito near Gibraltar and a full fire response but when the first engine got there everyone was canceled.
  • There was a smoke investigation on San Roque South of Foothill.
  • Medical Emergency for a man slumped over the wheel of his car in the handicapped spot at Vons La Cumbre.
  • Report of Wire Transfer Scam 2700 Block of Miradero.
  • Subject pounding on door of Ex Friend saying he has a gun, he is 23, balding under the influence and on foot. 700 Block of De La Vina.
  • 415 Subject disturbing people by yelling at Batty's 226 South Milpas Street.
  • Suspicious Circumstances in the 400 Block of Ruth Ave broken glass and blood on the front door. There have been other
  • Suspicious calls at the same address in recent past.
  • Small Warming fire highway 101 at upper State Street in the bushes along highway 101.
  • Medical Emergency at the Goleta Rite Aid for a bad reaction from a flu shot.
  • 415 Subject raising HELL at the Alano Club 235 East Cota.
  • Found property in the 300 Block of West Sola a bicycle.
  • Broken Water Main inside the old Sizzlers Restaurant 5500 Block of Hollister.
  • Theft investigation 200 Block of South Canada.
  • Medical Emergency for a Traumatic Injury at the County Jail.
  • Head injury as a result of being robbed and beaten victim was knocked unconscious somewhere between the Habit and Parking Lot 10. Victim was down at entrance to parking lot 10. Suspects involved were described as a light-skinned black male adult in his 20's wearing a tan hoodie, and a white male adult in his 30's wearing a flannel shirt and khaki panties, the white male has a dusting of a wee white beard on his chinney, chin,chin, and probably resembles a white Smurf. Suspects are in possession of a purple skateboard. All three involved were homeless.
  • Trespassers! 21 North Milpas refusing to leave but they were long gone before police arrived because the owner of the property finally got tired of all the abuses done to his property. I believe the Trespassers were the Homeless Types that have plagued that property for the past couple of years.
  • Check the Welfare of a 5150 off her meds. Wait a minute I gotta take mine.
  • Report of Sexual Battery occurred in the 200 Block of South Milpas suspect a clerk in gas station store. Unknown action taken, but CSI responded an hour or so after the initial call went out.
  • 415 Argument over a theft at Castillo and Carrillo.
  • Report of female at corner of Islay and Gillespie asking for help.
  • Report of male voice in the 800 Block of West Figueroa requesting help.
  • 242 Assault in the 500 Block of Bath, actually at my Gals old address suspect leaving name is Chuck wearing a black leather jacket, pulling a rolling suitcase I hope the ghost of my old lady pops up and kicks his ars!
  • Alcohol overdose at the County Jail.

    Scanner Reports, Thursday:

  • I missed the initial call but Mission Security was following a vehicle while reporting some crime to the police the vehicle a white Ford Focus was pulled over by police at Garden and Pueblo I don't know why?
  • A juvenile was taken into custody at Foodland for shoplifting I hope it wasn't because he was hungry.
  • DLV and DLG Report of black male adult smashing old TV Set which he also dumped there before taking off.
  • San Marcos Self Storage in 4000 Block of State Street 459 Burglary to a storage unit.
  • Drug Activity on going in front of the Habit 600 Block of State Street.
  • An 18 year old probationer cut off his GPS Anklet and ran for the hills in the 1200 Block of Cacique.
  • Overdose at Orcutt Junior High on ibuprofen.
  • Subject acting strangely while brandishing a knife in Carp near the beach and volleyball courts.
  • Theft Investigation at Perry Ford 600 North La Cumbre.
  • Report of 4 Homeless Types drinking on the Bleachers at Pershing Park.
  • Trespassers in yard of vacant home in the 800 Block of Stratford.
  • Somewhere in the county a man pulled a baseball bat on his girlfriend to show her who's boss and she punched him in his little tummy.
  • Injured Hiker Inspiration Point.
  • Mid Town West Suicide attempt by overdose.
  • 300 Block of West Carrillo check the welfare of female in apartment who needs Cares Evaluation.
  • Heavy Smoke coming out of home in 1100 Block of Quinientos with FOOD BURNING ON DA STOVE! HELLO Anyone home here comes a lot of fire personnel. Get back here and watch your food!
  • One Officer says it's gonna be a 12500 requesting a tow, that is someone driving without a driver's license.
  • Code 40 female at the Amtrak station 209 State Street leaning up against Honda Accord reporting party was afraid she was going to drive the car drunk.
  • Someone else was driving their drunken daughter home. At least that was the way it sounded.

    Will that's it for me. On Saturday I celebrate 10 Beers without a drink of Alkeehol. I don't drink but I do otter things to keep my insanity. Drinking made me too crazy. I expect Shakey will be commenting a little as I strong Arm robbed him at his store for a whole lotta beer that day. I seriously attempted suicide 3 times that week in blackouts having no idea what I was doing. CRAZY. Sometimes I get angry about things and talk about drinking but I'm very happy that I don't drink anymore. A lot of people are. Have a great Week End and Dog Willing We Will see you on Monday. Roger

    Comments in order of when they were received | (reverse order)

     COMMENT 364758 agree helpful negative off topic

    2013-01-18 07:16 AM

    I might have an office chair you could have... I have to check with the boss first. It's in pretty good condition, large, and comfortable. I don't know if any of those describe what you're looking for. haha. I'll check. Let me know what area you're in and maybe we can arrange for 'the handoff'.


     ROGER DODGER agree helpful negative off topic

    2013-01-18 07:59 AM

    I can be contacted thru the Editor, Thank You..Roger


     SHOREBIRD agree helpful negative off topic

    2013-01-18 08:19 AM

    Congratulations on your 10th anniversary of sobriety from alcohol Roger. Way to go!


     COMMENT 364832 agree helpful negative off topic

    2013-01-18 10:25 AM

    Congratulations on the 10-year anniversary, Roger. That's an accomplishment you can be proud of! And what up with an alcohol overdose at the Co. Jail? I'm guessing someone came in really drunk on a DUI or a Drunk in Public and then got sick there...or was it an inmate with a still in his/her cell?


     ROGER DODGER agree helpful negative off topic

    2013-01-18 10:33 AM

    It was probabley someone they bought in..I was wondering about the Tramatic injury they had there? HELL you gotta wonder about half the scrap that goes on in Santa Barbara crazy stuff..People want to know unless it makes their lives uncomfortable...Thanks for the wishes coffee has taken up where booze left off.


     COMMENT 364867 agree helpful negative off topic

    2013-01-18 11:16 AM

    Congratulations Roger, 10 years wow, the way the police drive by pointing at you and talking it seems more like a week or two haha way to go bud keep up the good work !!!


     ROGER DODGER agree helpful negative off topic

    2013-01-18 11:32 AM

    Where are you Shakey? I thought you were going to be scraping more apple butter off the old commodeo dragon today?


     COMMENT 364881 agree helpful negative off topic

    2013-01-18 11:33 AM

    You're disgusting, go clean it yourself.


     ROGER DODGER agree helpful negative off topic

    2013-01-18 11:47 AM

    Clean What?


     COMMENT 364891 agree helpful negative off topic

    2013-01-18 11:48 AM

    No Class


     ROGER DODGER agree helpful negative off topic

    2013-01-18 12:38 PM

    No Class today so Schools out?


     COMMENT 364921 agree helpful negative off topic

    2013-01-18 01:08 PM

    Those were the days , look up in the sky it's a bird it's a plane, it's it's it's a COP!! Oh no Roger threw another one over his car , yes sirree bob glad you stopped !! As far as Roger having no class, if you had a paid membership you get a decoder ring for Rogers humor, so don't be cheep and start shairing in the laughter !!


     ROGER DODGER agree helpful negative off topic

    2013-01-18 02:30 PM

    I'd rather not have any class..It seems like the nudes people considered to have class in Santa Barbara are mostly liers. Your right I have no class and I'm a big old fat stinky hippie slob. I'm proud of it..:) Don't like it go read something else.


     COMMENT 365083 agree helpful negative off topic

    2013-01-18 06:39 PM

    Stay in rare form Roger it's the only thing I understand now. Congratulation's on 10!


     COMMENT 365093P agree helpful negative off topic

    2013-01-18 07:12 PM

    Congratulations Roger. You have something good that a lot of people lack, no matter. Did you have a similar sense of quirky humor when under the influence?


     ROGER DODGER agree helpful negative off topic

    2013-01-18 09:17 PM

    I was very strange and hostile but had the sick sense of humor too..Damn tiolet is clogged up again!


     COMMENT 365486 agree helpful negative off topic

    2013-01-20 09:23 AM

    Way to go, Roger. 10 years. How many is that for Pooh?


     COMMENT 365729 agree helpful negative off topic

    2013-01-21 09:15 AM

    I love Rogers humor. Ps in response to the apple butter joke, that's what she said.


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