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Humor Appreciated
updated: Jan 16, 2013, 5:11 PM

By Edhat Subscriber

These days a bit of humor is especially appreciated. Are there any good jokes (preferably not snarky) about the Santa Barbara area? Don't think I've ever heard one.

Comments in order of when they were received | (reverse order)

COMMENT 364212	2013-01-16 05:23 PM
How do you get a free vacation in Santa Babara?...... Give up ? Become homeless......lol
COMMENT 364213	2013-01-16 05:24 PM
Welcome to Santa Barbara...Now go home. (I first heard that one when we moved here in 1961, and am still hearing it!)
COMMENT 364216P	2013-01-16 05:29 PM
Two writers meet at the Paradise Café. “I’ve just written a new book,” says the first. “Good. What about?” asks the second. “A young man meets a young woman.” “Aha, a novel!” “They’re in love.” Aha. A love story.” They marry and find a cheap house in Santa Barbara.” “Oh! A fairy tale.”
COMMENT 364217P	2013-01-16 05:32 PM
Santa Barbara: a place for the newly wed and the nearly dead.
COMMENT 364224P	2013-01-16 05:45 PM
Why is it so windy in Santa Barbara? Because Lompoc blows and Ventura sucks.
COMMENT 364234P	2013-01-16 06:02 PM
225. That joke belongs in tasteless jokes of the century category. Here's one that's not exactly a joke, but it always makes people smile: (Usually said to someone who is going gah-gah over our great weather.) Seasons? Why yes, we have four seasons here: Drought, flood, wildfire and earthquake.
COMMENT 364236P	2013-01-16 06:06 PM
I've never heard of any jokes about Santa Barbara, but, in the 70s I used to see bumper stickers that said, "Where the h&ll is Lompoc?"
COMMENT 364249	2013-01-16 06:36 PM
come on vacation... leave on probation.
COMMENT 364254	2013-01-16 06:43 PM
My uncle calls carpinteria crapndiarhea
COMMENT 364260	2013-01-16 06:49 PM
Santa Barbara had a beauty contest . Nobody won.
COMMENT 364265	2013-01-16 06:58 PM
American Riviera the place homeless call home.
COMMENT 364267P	2013-01-16 07:05 PM
I am afraid my SB related jokes will get me thrown out of town...
COMMENT 364268	2013-01-16 07:06 PM
Two Pygmy Mammoth are sittin on a cliff watching a herd of deer go by, when one turns to the other & says, "Watch-out,he`s gotta bow"!!
COMMENT 364280	2013-01-16 07:27 PM
So far the only ones that were even remotely funny were .... ....4216.....4224.....& 4234 The rest just sound angry.
NATURE BOY	2013-01-16 07:46 PM
Tourist: "Have you lived in Santa Barbara all your life?" Local kid: "I dunno mister, I'm only eight."
NATURE BOY	2013-01-16 07:47 PM
Tourist: "Did you grow up in Santa Barbara?" Local: "Not yet."
COMMENT 364293	2013-01-16 07:47 PM
Not so much a joke as commentary, but Santa Barbara is a haven for two types of people; the idol rich and the idle poor.
NATURE BOY	2013-01-16 07:52 PM
Bumper sticker commonly seen around Santa Barbara in the 80s: "Tourists go home -- but leave your daughters!"
MESARATS	2013-01-16 08:15 PM
Lompoc. AKA Lots Of Mean People On Crack. ( someone from Lompoc told me that one)
COMMENT 364311	2013-01-16 08:29 PM
Heard this while in college here: UCSB: U Can Study Buzzed.
COMMENT 364313	2013-01-16 08:32 PM
Lompton venturda crapsnard Its not a mistake that i choose to live somewhere i can't afford.
COMMENT 364345P	2013-01-16 10:32 PM
Seasons are: flood, fog, fire, and Fiesta! (I guess fire and Fiesta happen at the same time, so you might have to have "fall" or "fine", but those are boring.)
BRIANPEDDICORD	2013-01-16 11:03 PM
My friend and stand-up comic from SB, Nikki Limo, has a bit where she says: "Santa Barbara and Ventura are like sister cities. Except Santa Barbara would probably be the Marcia Brady and Ventura would be the Jan of the two. There's nothing wrong with Jan, it's just that Marcia is prettier." I've also seen stickers that look like park signs that say "Welcome to Santa Barbara!" then on the bottom, "Please don't feed the homeless."
REXOFSB	2013-01-16 11:20 PM
Santa Barbara, where the old people come...to visit their parents.
COMMENT 364353P	2013-01-16 11:38 PM
This is the first time I have seen Edhat completely remove a comment. For those who might be wondering: 225's joke was incredibly off-color and had to do with Oprah. I've met Oprah. She is just as self-effacing and courteous as can be. Thank you Edhat, for deep-sixing that sexist and offensive rubbish.
EMUWREN1	2013-01-16 11:48 PM
Where was I when all these silly/not so humorous bumper stickers abounded? 98% of these "jokes" aren't jokes at all. @Brian: Your sticker one made me laugh out loud. So politically incorrect, it is hilarious. And the first one about the four seasons is a good one. Wish I'd made that one up.
COMMENT 364368	2013-01-17 06:46 AM
A third generation Santa Barbara couple, the wife pregnant, are vacationing in New York City when their child is unexpectedly born a little early. They return to Santa Barbara after the birth and the child lives a long life in SB. At 99 years of age, the child who always lived in Santa Barbara, never even took a trip to Ventura, dies. The headline on the Obit reads, "New Yorker Dies, Long Time Santa Barbara Resident."
COMMENT 364369	2013-01-17 06:47 AM
Man dies and goes to heaven..... At the gate St. Peter welcomes him, saying, "why, hello there! And Welcome! Where you from son?" The man replies, "Hi Peter! I'm fromSanta Barbara!" St. Peter bites his thumb nail, looks back behind him at heaven through the gates and shakes his head at the man...."ohhhh..Santa Barbara, I'm afraid you may to like it in here then...."
COMMENT 364378	2013-01-17 07:09 AM
Good one MESARAT... Was it your dealer who told you that one during his last delivery to you?
COMMENT 364379	2013-01-17 07:12 AM
Saw a post card once that said: "The weather is here, wish you were beautiful!"
COMMENT 364424	2013-01-17 08:29 AM
What's the difference between Goleta and a cup of yogurt? The yogurt has an active culture.
COMMENT 364478	2013-01-17 10:00 AM
Santa Barbara; jewel on the south coast
COMMENT 364480	2013-01-17 10:01 AM
Hey! Bring back 225. I wanna hear the joke; especially if it involves The Oprah.
COMMENT 364481P	2013-01-17 10:02 AM
Rex - that's a good one. Maybe you can join us over on the thread where they keep talking about how lovely and save Chino St is and speak the truth http://www.edhat.com/site/tidbit.cfm?nid=107156:
COMMENT 364483	2013-01-17 10:03 AM
Newly wed and nearly dead. Yep. And ain't that the truth! The middle class, the artists, we cannot afford to stay here unless our parents left us money.
COMMENT 364487P	2013-01-17 10:09 AM
Santa Barbara, where we harass the homeowners and welcome the homeless!
REXOFSB	2013-01-17 10:19 AM
@481P: Thanks for the invitation, but I feel safer on this thread. I can use the word "Chino" in a sentence: "I want to buy a house there for my wife, but Chino want to live there."
COMMENT 364501P	2013-01-17 10:27 AM
A man put in 10 puns for a pun contest, hoping that at least one of them would win. But sadly, no pun in ten did.
COMMENT 364505	2013-01-17 10:32 AM
Three leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink. The president of Budweiser orders a Bud. Miller's president orders a Millers and the president of Coors orders a Coors. When it is Guinness turn to order he orders a soda. Why didn't you order a Guinness everyone asks? Nah Guinness replies. If you guys aren't having a beer neither will I.
COMMENT 364519P	2013-01-17 11:26 AM
One has to be quick and at the right place for jokes. That the horrendous, lewd, funny joke about Oprah and Steadman in Santa Barbara remained on this website for a few hours was funny in itself. Readers, you have to check in regularly at Edhat. This isn't the first time a posting was deleted. Glad I got a screenshot of it, but there are few people to share it with.
SQUIRREL FRIEND	2013-01-17 12:04 PM
The joke itself was kind of an eyeroller. I can't stand Open Windbag or her boyfriend Eric H., anyways. Where I found the humor was the fact that it was on this site, that it stood for hours and that one or more militants were undoubtedly getting their bloomers in a bunch over it.

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