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Scanner Reports 1-4-13
updated: Jan 04, 2013, 7:00 AM
By Roger the Scanner Guy
Hair we are the first FRYday of the year. In the beginning of the month is when I get all my stuff done pay rent, bills, buy groceries, etc. That is what I was doing on Thursday I was doing my monthly shoplifting at Fresh and Easy my scanner has been acting up a little so I had it off. I was having a HELL of a time shopping because Belinda gave me a list also; not just one or two items but like a dozen. I was going friggen nuts in there trying to get her stuff and mine then running everything thru the checkout while Shakey bagged everything. We walked outside and saw the smoke from the Structure Fire I just about died right there! Damn Never Fails I turned on the Scanner but didn't hear much we tossed everything in the Toyota and took off South on Milpas toward my place. We almost ate it near the Roundabout missed a Lexus by inches my 2nd close call of the day. The first was slipping in the shower, I almost fell too. Had I fallen it would have been like this..."Engine 2 Respond to --- South Milpas Street for a man who has fallen in the shower and can't get up." Engine 2 and the people working there know me or they used to would probably request 2 more engines to pick me up and attempt to get me out of the shower. I would have been totally stuck I just got a small shower and I'm kinda big that woulda been a drag and it almost happened.
We made it back here in time for me to post some of the Fire so I don't feel totally guilty. We were doing the speed limit on Milpas maybe 30-35 or so you really can't speed on Milpas at Lunch Time still had we hit that 2 seater Lexus it woulda been like this, " Engine 2 Injury Traffic Accident Fat Man stuck in exhaust pipe of Lexus." I have close calls a lot. I think I would have preferred the exhaust pipe compared to a fall in the shower. Especially since one of my sick friends e-mailed me this thing with pictures of big men who stepped on the soap and fell in the shower, some of them were dead none of them looked very happy. Besides all this today was my first walking day. I used to walk all the time like 15 miles a day but now that I'm older and hurt more not so much plus lately I've been just sitting and doing the Scanner Roni Reports which isn't very healthy either. I got all kinds of physical problems right now involving sitting on my fat ars so today was day one. Wouldn't ya know there would be some big fire right when I was grocery shoplifting! Thank Dog I got home in time to cover some of it. It's SNOT like I got all the High Tech equipment in the world to just cruise over there and cover the Fire if I did I would have been there.
The otter night I heard a call from one of the condos near East Beach it was a hazard condition call smell of sewage throughout the unit. The Fire Department said there was no problem that sewage smell ain't coming from the condo. That's the East Beach Stanky Stank sounds like a dance huh? I picture a whole lot of zombies that used to be people from the East Beach Neighborhood all dancing the Stinky Stank in the middle of Cabrillo after having had their brains eaten by that Stinky Stank on East Beach! This morning while I was enjoying my leisurely morning walk I thought that Stinky Stank odor was coming from me, I thought I better get home real quick! Then of course I realized what it was. It's just that time of the beer when they dredge.
I would like to take this opportunity to Thank Shorebird for the cool hat all the younger gals are starting to notice Roger and even though I'm not into younger gals, it's kinda nice. So thank you very much Shorebird.
Hair is Thy Blessed Scanner Roni Reports, Humpster Day Wednesday:
Report of Structure Fire 1900 Block of Jameson.
Women hit by train in Montecito very, very sad it's calls like that, that rip my heart out.
Check the Welfare of a homeless type on Overpass Road walking partially in traffic covered in a blanket. I sure hope it wasn't Jesus.
Hispanic male adult wearing a green sweatshirt harassing passersby in the 1800 Block of Cliff Drive.
In the 3300 Block of State Street at the golf store a Hispanic male adult attempted to pass a counterfeit 100.00 Dollar bill. I wish I could pass counterfeit 100.00 Bills I'd be rich! The guy was described as follows 35-40 Years old 5'10 grey hair two silver capped front teeth. SNOT going to get very far with toes.
At 1 South Milpas a code 40, police requesting code 2 medics for the dry out.
Pelican in center divider Northbound 101 at Salinas rescued by SBPD Animal Control number 4.
At UCSB a bicycle was stolen a female reported a black male adult was riding away with her black bicycle near the events center.
Gas Leak at UCSB full county fire response.
Code 40 down 15 East Haley.
Wanted Subject got away from a police officer on a bicycle last seen headed toward the wharf. Boy I hated those days always looking over my shoulder even when I wasn't wanted I knew they was looking for me what a crappy way to live.
500 Block of East Sola woman in her 50's wearing a hoodie looking in windows.
After Dark there was a report of a man heard screaming coming from Rocky Nook Park them parks they get hungry too just like everyone else around here and when them parks get hungry they eat illegal campers.
Group of drunks drinking in the 200 Block of State Street.
Report of a code 40 male disturbing at Amtrak 209 State Street.
At the Taco Bell on highway 246 was a white male adult threatening. I don't know what or who he was threatening they just said he was threatening.
459, Burglary, Ransacking to a residence in the 6500 Block of Del Playa.
Cota at Anacapa elderly fall victim medical emergency.
1400 Block of Pitos report of fireworks.
1000 Block of East Chapel overdose.
242, Assault at the Amtrak Station 209 State Street.
Scanner Roni Reports, Thursday:
100 Block of West Los Olivas 20 year old male wearing a hoodie casing the area.
Mobile Home Park near Coronado heavy odor of gas.
Squatter in an apartment in the 600 Block of DLV.
459 Burglary to a vehicle in the 2100 Block of Castillo.
Structure Fire 530 Chapala.
600 Block of East Cabrillo code 40 driver driving commercial plumbing truck parked now. Police got there in time before subject could go for a drive.
SBSO was looking for a wanted subject a male in his 50's in Hope Ranch I don't know if they ever found him.
1000 Block of East Yananoli suspicious subject looking in yards.
100 Block of North Alisos suspicious subject looking in cars.
Possible burglary in the 200 Block of West Islay two Hispanic male adults associated with white truck.
AMR had a combative patient at Cottage Hospital.
Fight Brewing 8 Gang Types on the ground floor of parking lot 10 near the Habit.
Minor Injury traffic accident on West Sola involving 4 cars, one took off that left three.
Code 40 bicyclist in the 1100 Block of East Cabrillo white male adult wearing a red cap.
Jerk disturbing at the Good Will 302 West Carrillo.
Another guy disturbing at McDonald's on Milpas.
Overdose on prescription medication in the North County Santa Maria.
SBPD looking around for a 5150 in the West Beach Area I hope they don't come over here.
Will that's it out of me for now. Have a Great Weekend and Dog Willing We will see you on Monday. Roger
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