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Scanner Reports 11-7-12
updated: Nov 07, 2012, 7:00 AM

By Roger the Scanner Guy

Belinda is going to Kill Me. That is my Election Day prediction for today. I e-mailed Michael Moore to call her and lecture her for not voting earlier. I told her I did it she is really angry. I'm eating my Hamburger Habit as quickly as I can they may not have this food (where I'm going) after she lets me have it and not in a good way. Will that really never was the good way, I just can't handle listening to someone who moans and groans about the state of our country without having a fart in it.

Busy Day for our Emergency Responders Fire up in the Hills, 5150 With a Screwdriver at the Marina, accidents among otter thangs. Thank Dog it's SNOT as hot as Monday. I felt like I was sitting in a microwave all day it was Hot! I thought I was going to have a heat stroke then there were medical calls; Difficulty breathing, Fainters, horrible all anyone has to do is drink a little water. Those heat strokes can happen to anyone too but there is a way to stop it from happening drink water. I was working on my washing machine the other day and I think I might have fixed it. I'm not a fix it guy either I didn't read any instructions or anything. Which just goes to show you that not all men need to follow directions. Some men are Special! The Drum in the washer was way off balance What I did was give the drum a good yank toward me and shoved most of the drum into the washing machine so now it won't stop spinning it goes thru the whole cycle. But there is not much room to stick the clothing in the washer is kinda tweaked and it goes sideways when it spins but it works.

Maybe I can get a job fixing washing machines. I mean if someone thinks I'd make a good congressman what the HELL? I really liked that comment that said Shameful and Embarrassing after my comment I really like those negative comments. It's lets me know that I'm getting to people. The one that comments about Drama and the scanner reports that's really good please keep those nasty, dirty, rotten, negative comments coming. The physical Spankings really make my arthritis flair up, some of those poison dart comments I get in the comment section is better than drugs. First I feel this horrible pain in my stomach like there's a huge boulder in there. For a few moments after that I feel totally empty and then there's the pit I'm sliding into this pit where I feel hated like I'm the biggest piece of Dung in the County. I am a pretty big guy ya know. Then there's the final stage I feel extreme Rage I feel like ripping things apart with my bare hands. I wonder if that's what METH feels like? Keep those hateful comments coming they mean the world to me they really do.

Spank you; here is your Scanner Reports, Monday:

  • Report of an elderly couple smoking weed on the beach then getting in a small grey Subrau and driving away. I have never heard of a big Subaru.
  • There was a smoke check in Miguelito Canyon. The smoke turned out to be coming from a smoke stack.
  • Arson Fire at Bishop Diego HS in the brush but damaged some vehicles.
  • A little while before the fire there was a report of a woman in a creek bed trying to put out a warming fire.
  • Over there at Avocado and State Street there was a grey SUV Fully involved in fire.
  • Medical Emergency at Bike and Hike Carp. State Beach.
  • Wanted subject in a laundry room in the 900 Block of San Pasqual. Must be trying to get clean before the police get there.
  • There was a call up on East Camino Cielo for a fella that felt like he was having a mental breakdown after losing his home possibly evicted.
  • Elder Abuse Investigation at Cottage.
  • 1100 Block of State Homeless Type A Yelling and harassing passersby.
  • Medical Emergency for someone in the bathroom at CVS 222 West Carrillo.
  • Medical Emergency for seizures at Cabrillo Ball Field.
  • Engine one was on a Hazard investigation at the Santa Barbara Pubic Library but they never said what it was.
  • Milpas at Cabrillo Dog bites Dog, Owner of biting dog runs away with biting dog police responded I don't know if biting dog was caught.
  • 30 Winchester Canyon possible 459 Burglary to residence intruder in kitchen smoking a cigarette. I think these were two separate calls nonetheless this is how I heard it.
  • Sounds like someone got chased outta the Nopalito Camp where Hannah entered the freeway from before she was killed. I saw Cal Trans Trucks there earlier Monday they were probably clearing out camps and personal items throwing everything away.
  • Medical Emergency for a fall victim with a head injury at the rescue mission.
  • Medical Emergency at the Sober center 19 East Haley.
  • Suicidal Subject in the 1800 Block of Veronica Lane.
  • In front of Gelson's market in the 3300 Block of State Street two fellas set up a political table and were yelling and blocking the sidewalk.
  • 242 Assault 2 Black male Adults assaulted reporting party Bath at Canon Perdido at least one suspect was caught.
  • There was a report of two horses without riders on the beach at Look Out Park people were concerning that a rider might have been thrown. I never heard the whole story there.
  • I heard the SBSO say they had 2 suspects at gunpoint in front of OSH But never heard why?
  • Wires were arcing at Gutierrez and DLV.
  • Homeless Type T's refusing to leave 21 North Milpas Street.
  • 20002 Hit and Run Milpas at Haley officer found suspect vehicle near Old Coast Highway where it was registered and had it towed.
  • This is Interesting; on Monday night a report of strong smell of smoke 1600 East Valley Road.
  • Report of Ford Ranger smooshed into center divider on East De La Guerra.
  • 200 Block of West Micheltorena threats investigation.
  • Possible suicidal subject on More Mesa Drive.
  • 242 Assault 100 Block of Los Aquaries.
  • Suspicious Circumstances Mission at Atterdag subject standing on corner with crow bar in hand.
  • Suspicious circumstances in the 2500 Block of Chuparosa suspicious guest of a neighbor.
  • Chapala at Yanonali 415 Domestic.
  • 1200 Block of Castillo 415 Domestic.
  • 1700 Block of Sunset keep the peace for someone there to pick up their stolen I-Phone.
  • 200 Block of Natoma 459 Residential burglary.
  • Medical Emergency for a head injury at Elings Park softball field.

    Scanner Reports, Tuesday:

  • 415 Domestic 1100 Block of De La Vina male pulled female's hair while arguing domestic violence.
  • Vehicle parked in the red Victoria at Mercedes.
  • 415 Homeless Type A Challenging workers to a fight 228 East Cota.
  • Check the Welfare of the subject down in the parking lot of Your Place 22 North Milpas.
  • Cabrillo Bath House 415 Long grey haired man possibly Satan Claus yelling at people in the bathhouse.
  • Possible Overdose Powers and Cacique.
  • Man parked behind Spearmint Rhino 4 East Yanonali in a white Chrysler looks as if he's in some type of distress. He wasn't there when police arrived he was parked up the street.
  • Fire in the Hills overlooking Santa Barbara Cold Springs at East Valley Road, Mountain Drive area County and City responded Fire Units, Copter 309 responded as well as the Bombers not only was a potentially dangerous fire put out quickly a possible arsonist was arrested. Is that a great job or what? Ballistic Belinda was impressed and wants to thank everyone involved with putting out the fire and saving the animals.
  • There was a suicidal man in the 500 Block of West Montecito he possibly OD'ed.
  • A standoff man with a screwdriver who would not give up they were going to use the less lethal on him but somehow he ended up in the water. I don't know if he jumped in or someone shoved him, I would have shoved him in. Anyway I'm not totally sure but I think he was transported to county.
  • There was a report of a male subject walking around the State and Haley area with an arm laceration but he didn't want any help.
  • 415 Party east of the Beach House near the Clark Estate on the beach.
  • Check the Welfare of a code 40 down behind the San Roque Market in the 3000 Block of State Street.
  • Threats investigation at the Library 40 East Anapamu.

    There's nothing like a Shirley Temple after a long hot day of sitting on my ARS and writing these Scanner Roni Reports. I'm done for now. Dog Willing We will see you on FRYday. Have a Hoppy Hump Day! Roger and Poopy Bear

    Comments in order of when they were received | (reverse order)

     COMMENT 340040P agree helpful negative off topic

    2012-11-07 07:46 AM

    Love starting the day with one of Roger's missives.


     COMMENT 340066 agree helpful negative off topic

    2012-11-07 09:14 AM

    Roger, you crack me up! Thanks for the entertainment.


     ROGER DODGER agree helpful negative off topic

    2012-11-07 11:06 AM

    Spank You both very much!


    67% of comments on this page were made by Edhat Community Members.



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