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Mean Teacher
updated: Oct 04, 2012, 8:33 PM

By Edhat Subscriber

According to my friend's 6th grader, his/her teacher is "being mean" to the children every day. This bad behavior includes making sarcastic asides about overweight children and even telling one kid, "Shut your mouth!" (It seems these "rude" comments are a daily event.) There is no way this 6th grader is exaggerating (he/she is like the "truth police"). What can be done about a teacher who is angry and taking it out on the children?

Comments in order of when they were received | (reverse order)

COMMENT 327966	2012-10-04 08:46 PM
Document consistent factual information (as factual as it can be from a 6th grader), make an appointment with the principal and go in to voice your concerns. The principal will have to look into the matter if he/she is not already aware. the principals primary concern is the welfare of the kids, so he/she will be attentive. If you dont get satisfaction, call the school district officials for help.
COMMENT 327968	2012-10-04 08:51 PM
This is info coming 3rd hand from a child to a parent to the poster. The parent should communicate with the principal and the poster should have no part in the process. And additional posters here, using the 3rd hand info posted by an anonymous person they have never met should be very circumspect about judging the situation.
COMMENT 327969	2012-10-04 08:57 PM
"There is no way this 6th grader is exaggerating" You can tell the truth and exaggerate at the same time. Maybe these little kids are being rude and taking away from "Learning something" What can be done? If it was my kid who was getting told that then i would sit in on a class and see for myself. I just find it odd that a 6th grader can tell you whats going on but you can't figure out yourself what to do about it. Who is the adult here?
D8VANILLA	2012-10-04 09:31 PM
Costco sells a really cool, small, $40 Olympus 2 gig, voice recorder. You can easily record over 8 hrs on one battery. And, the quality is excellent, even if the recorder is in a pocket or purse / backpack. Then you will have hard PROOF of what is being said and by whom.
COMMENT 327977P	2012-10-04 10:30 PM
Public school or private?
NATURE BOY	2012-10-04 10:54 PM
969: Do you think that if a parent was conspicuously "sitting in" on the class that the teacher would still be mean to the kid?
COMMENT 327982P	2012-10-04 11:03 PM
Proof? Where is it? How to get it? What has been given is pure hearsay and therefor not admissible. Can the parent poof their child's allegations? Can the child? Difficult questions.
NATURE BOY	2012-10-04 11:18 PM
Well, report it to the School Administration. Seems obvious.
BLUEB	2012-10-04 11:19 PM
Please refrain from having the 6th grader film, record or collect evidence of this teacher being mean. The parent should pursue this matter directly with the teacher or principal. Involving the student anymore will only distract him/her from their learning. Also, we tend to see what we look for, so if this child is directed to collect more evidence of "mean" behavior, that's what he/she will find. This young child will notice and collect evidence of only "mean" behavior and not notice any good attributes or behaviors. The school year has just started... Don't set up the child for an adversarial relationship with his/her teacher. Try to address this issue with minimal involvement of the child.
COMMENT 327985P	2012-10-05 12:28 AM
OP here. Public school. This child spoke directly to me about the teacher's rude and hurtful remarks. As adult as I am, I can still remember what it was like to have a mean teacher. My 5th grade teacher at Roosevelt School called one boy a "rotten apple" right in front of the entire class. (1960s). All of us knew our teacher was mean. I have often wondered how deeply that boy was wounded by such treatment. This 6th grader told me, when asked, that one of the other teachers has already sat in on a class, to try and assess just exactly what is taking place. "The teacher wasn't mean while she was there," I was told. I am not this child's parent. The parents have heard what is going on, but they are not the type of parents who will confront a problem such as this one. I posted this, hoping to learn what recourse I have, and to learn if there is anything that I could do to help. As a role model, what this teacher is doing is very wrong. This is not a healthy situation for impressionable young children.
COMMENT 327986P	2012-10-05 05:59 AM
You are making presumptions based on your own prior experience- hopefully you are not a therapist! Teachers did a lot worse than call someone a rotten apple in the 60's! Have you interrogated the child as to the behaviour of the children in the class as intently as you seem to have questioned the teacher's actions? If the parents don't have a problem with their child's experiences, you should butt out. Seems a strange relationship you have with a 6th grader.... One of the things public schools teach well is how to deal with a variety of situations and people in order to survive and thrive.
COMMENT 327988	2012-10-05 06:15 AM
Jeez, please look at the bigger picture. Despite any character issues is the teacher a good educator? Little Sally or Johnny will have to deal with mean teacher/boss/coworker/neighbor/relative/etc their whole life and might as well start developing the skills to cope with it. The parents should really worry if the teacher ignores the kid as that means the teacher has given up all hope on that student. Please offer some better advice in the future.
COMMENT 327991	2012-10-05 06:54 AM
I know a few local teachers. They play in a local sports I think that one of them is so angry and mean to adults that I wouldn't ever have my children in her class.
COMMENT 327995	2012-10-05 07:00 AM
I know parents tend to believe everything their child says as they believe this child would never lie to them or has never done so that they've wanted to believe. But children behave very differently when parents aren't around or when they can gang up on someone. I believe there is a lot more to this than is readily available. To a 12-13 year old any adult who is not related to them who disciplines them is by rule "mean". Or a child raised by passive parents or who is uncomfortable with confrontation or discipline may find a confrontative teacher who disciplines class mates mean. Going by appearances only you don't do the truth justice.... in my opinion. Another case of too much helicoptering.
COMMENT 327996	2012-10-05 07:01 AM
Making sarcastic asides to 6th graders, ESPECIALLY putting a freaking kid down for weight is not something any teacher should be doing. I don't care what the situation is, that is just plain wrong to pick on a little kid about something like that. Report to the principal, and I'd make the student's parents involved.
COMMENT 328008	2012-10-05 07:32 AM
My sweet gemini child talked and talked and talked! After finding out about the disruptions it was causing, I picked the most serious first grade teacher at the school. Poor lady, tried everything! Shifting her table to the front, right in front of her desk. Still no silence. She even said she tried the closet!
COMMENT 328017	2012-10-05 07:49 AM
If I was a parent of a porky preteen I'd be more preoccupied with peeling pounds off my prodigy than whether or not the professor is publicizing pupils' pudginess. Priorities people.
COMMENT 328027	2012-10-05 08:09 AM
327968, I don't know what you do for a day job, but I nominate you for Ethicist of Edhat! That was very well-put, and it is in line with everything I was taught and practiced during my time in non-profit management. Bravo for posting your comment!
COMMENT 328031	2012-10-05 08:20 AM
Report that teacher immediately! No teacher should resort to any type of derogatory behavior. If this teacher is saying things or behaving in any way not exemplary in front of his students, the teacher needs to be reminded and disciplined if required. If the student is feeling threatened in any way by the teacher's poor behavior, that behavior must be looked into. Students with fanciful imaginations are known but most students know the truth and speak it.
COMMENT 328037	2012-10-05 08:28 AM
988: If a teacher is rude, insulting, or mean, s/he is not a good educator. Elementary school is NOT the place for children to learn to deal with mean authority figures and "start developing the skills to cope with it." As a teacher and parent, I have seen strict teachers and mean teachers and the kids know the difference. They know the difference between a lot of rules that are strictly enforced and mean, rude, insulting comments. I encourage the OP to continue to be a support for the child as s/he clearly feels comfortable talking to you. At the most, you should mention it to the child's parents and encourage them to speak to the principal. You could encourage the child to do the same or speak to someone else in authority at the school, perhaps another teacher or librarian they are comfortable speaking to. There is nothing more that "can be done" by YOU if this is not YOUR child.
COMMENT 328039	2012-10-05 08:35 AM
Surrepetitously install a tiny "nanny cam" in the classroom and find out where the truth really lies.
COMMENT 328041	2012-10-05 08:47 AM
If other children in the class are aware of the meanness, perhaps the 6th grader you know could suggest they tell their parents. The more parents who are made aware of it, the more likely something will get done about it. Unfortunately, it sounds like you have no recourse personally as you do not have a child in that class nor, presumably, in that school. Good luck!
COMMENT 328049	2012-10-05 09:16 AM
Trying to set up a camera or any other recording device is the WORST thing you can do. In CA every party subject to being recorded must consent. The teacher may very well have signed an agreement with the district or the school itself saying she consents to being recorded, but that agreement is with her and the school and/or district, and does NOT extend to anyone else even though it would happen in the classroom. Furthermore, you would need to obtain consent from the guardians of each and every minor in the classroom. No, setting up a spy camera or a sound recorder in the classroom would set you up for criminal penalties far more severe than what the teacher could possibly face for the situation described.
FLICKA	2012-10-05 09:27 AM
OP, I admire you for listening to this child. In spite of some not so nice remarks here, I definately think something needs to be done. Some parents don't care enough to get involved, glad you care. I like the idea of having the youngster get other students to tell their parents. Several complaints to the principal should get his/her attention.
COMMENT 328064	2012-10-05 10:06 AM
Confront the teacher personally. If they get snarky - talk to them the way they are talking to your child. Stand up to the bully. Talk to the principle.
COMMENT 328067	2012-10-05 10:20 AM
049- Excellent point! Especially since the OP is in no way related to the child, encouraging "secret" recording would be a HUGE mistake. Sorry, but if it's not your child, there is nothing you can (or should) do about this.
COMMENT 328095	2012-10-05 11:00 AM
There is enough bullying going on among the kids we certainly don't need it from the teachers. Some of the nuns I had in school in the 1960 might just fall into this group. We survived, developed a thick skin and got a great education!
COMMENT 328098	2012-10-05 11:04 AM
It is difficult to deal with certain kinds of teacher behavior because the witnesses or victims are children who many adults don't give credence. Also, typically, you must take your complaint to a principal whos first duty (despite what some say) is to support the offending teacher or at least minimize the offenses. My middle son had a teacher at Mountain view years ago. (an excellent grade school) when she thought he was engaging in what she considered disruptive behavior in her third grade class she would have the class "VOTE" on whether he should be made to sit outside in the open air hallway regardless of the weather. (as if any 3rd grader would dare to vote against the teacher) She then had the audacity to tell me at a parent conference she was concerned that my son did not have too many friends. Hardly a surprise given her efforts to have the children vote to banish him from time to time. This teacher recieved a reward for excellence on her retirement not long after that.
COMMENT 328103	2012-10-05 11:08 AM
No wonder some kids are so screwed up. No one wants to listen to them. This is the reason we have kids with so many issues, and therapists are making so much money. We watch commercials on TV about not allowing kids to be bullied by other kids, but it's ok for teachers to do it? Someone with authority to punish you, and you aren't supposed to talk back too? If that teacher isn't happy at their job, they should retire or teach adults who can defend themselves.
COMMENT 328108	2012-10-05 11:18 AM
It would seem that caring parents might request that their child be transferred to a different classroom. It is clear that there is a problem between this teacher and their child. I will not try to judge the burden of guilt. Certainly the request for a transfer is reasonable.
COMMENT 328124	2012-10-05 11:40 AM
"There is no way this 6th grader is exaggerating" Ever read or seen Lillian Hellman's "The Children's Hour"? The honesty of children should never be assumed.
ROGER DODGER	2012-10-05 11:41 AM
I look really young I could be the undercover 6th grader..
COMMENT 328143	2012-10-05 11:54 AM
Either a micro recorder (as was suggested by another poster) or voice recorder on cell phone-- mini nanny cam (not sure how they work--battery?).
EARO65	2012-10-05 12:59 PM
A woman is being tried in federal courts for planting a camera in her daughter's classroom. She violated a number of federal laws. Not the way to go.
COMMENT 328173	2012-10-05 01:05 PM
When I was in elementary school I had teachers tell me to shut up all the time. I was a loudmouth punk and showed no respect. I deserved every bit of it.
SBSAND	2012-10-05 01:21 PM
Notify the principal and they will do an investigation which will include talking to the teacher and letting them know of complaints. If the behavior doesn't change then it is time to step up and contact the other parents to find out if their children are also reporting abusive behavior and if so, you go as a united front to the principal. I have had to complain about a teacher before and results were seen really quickly. Recording the teacher is a last resort and shouldn't be done unless you have first contacted the principal.
COMMENT 328210	2012-10-05 02:26 PM
173 if the world's progress depended on what other people experienced when they were in school/young/etc etc there'd be none. Just because someone did this kind of thing way back when doesn't make it any more acceptable to do now!
COMMENT 328214	2012-10-05 02:31 PM
what did people do for these answers before edhat?
COMMENT 328316	2012-10-05 06:56 PM
Dear OP. I believe you. Talk to other parents (teachers hate this, and some here might object, but do it.) Find out if their kids have reported anything. Bring your concerns to the principal. The principal may well know what is going on, but he/she can't do a thing without a certain number of official complaints. No matter how the principal responds to you, follow up with an email that summarizes what happened during the meeting. Very important: CC THE SUPERINTENDENT IN THIS FOLLOW UP EMAIL. You have put your concerns on record. If nothing changes, pull your kid from the classroom.
COMMENT 328342	2012-10-05 08:13 PM
Has anyone already mentioned that, in response to the suggestion to secretly record the teacher, it is a felony to do without a person's knowledge?
COMMENT 328344	2012-10-05 08:18 PM
If you are discreet, the recording won't be found out. However, it will verify your suspicions . . . or not. That's the point. It has happened before in the SB District, and teachers have been fired.
COMMENT 328362P	2012-10-05 09:04 PM
I nominate Roger to be the EdHat SS (Secret Sixth Grader) that will enroll and start class on Monday morning. Do I have a second?
COMMENT 328380P	2012-10-05 11:11 PM
2nd. 047 lol.
COMMENT 328397P	2012-10-06 02:50 AM
027: For you and any others who didn't see the OP's comment (985P) on this thread (8 ahead of your own comment), this child confided these details DIRECTLY to the poster. Obviously, this is an adult the child respects and thinks may be able to make this abuse end. Have we all forgotten what it's like to be in grade school and have to deal with a bully? There really is no excusing such behavior from an educator. If the OP says this 6th grader is "the truth police" why question the child's veracity? If the teacher is making snide and derogatory remarks to and about her students, on a daily basis, is this really the kind of education we want our children experiencing five days a week, for nine months? How long has this been going on, I wonder? OP: I say make an appointment with the school's Principal, state clearly and concisely what your young friend has told you. I am willing to bet some of the parents have already spoken up about this. Otherwise why was this other teacher sitting in? You don't have to be this child's parent to stand up for s/he. Be a champion for all these kids.
COMMENT 328421	2012-10-06 06:50 AM
1. Parents should discuss matter with child 2. Parents should speak directly with principal 3. Parents should send follow up email to principal If parents cannot or will not, then it may end there. Depending on the severity of the situation, a 3rd party may have to intervene and contact the principal, but I expect the parents will step up. Under no circumstances should the child be called upon to record "evidence". The reasons for this are many, suffice to say, the less involvement from the child, the better. Nobody is right or true all the time. A child's interpretation of an event or situation is filtered through their perspective, as is anyone's, and while it is to be honored, it does not make it the "truth". The school should intervene and check out the situation.
COMMENT 328459	2012-10-06 07:39 AM
Bullies come in all shapes and sizes, even Beach Volleyball players named Seth.
COMMENT 328497	2012-10-06 09:12 AM
There seems to be a lot of wishful thinking about how problems would be corrected. First it is unlikely that the teacher will change. Second, it is unlikely that the principal can make any meaningful correction to the teacher's habits. Third, the unions will strongly work to protect the teacher. The best alternative is to move to an alternate classroom.
COMMENT 328589P	2012-10-06 12:53 PM
497. I don't get how moving one child to '''an alternate classroom" helps the other kids. Shouldn't this teacher be made to "behave?" Sounds to me like she needs some counseling to learn how to deal with personal issues.
COMMENT 329344	2012-10-08 02:29 PM
When we had a mean teacher we went to the princpal . Of course he wanted us to wait before changing teachers, blah,blah,etc... . It was a Friday afternoon. I said we were going to Withdrawel our child and home school if he was not in a new class by Monday. Not wanting to loose the state money,he agreed to change classes. This was not the kind,gentle approach we like to take with school issues. I was not willing to wait,hope,help for a change in the teachers style of teaching. After several parents also moved to new teacher the school let the teacher go. I was not proud that I had to go so far,but it was my child. Sincerely,Mother Bear

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