Headaches, Roman Polanski, and Pretty Pictures
by Nicole Freire

I had intended to write an article about Roman Polanski today but I was up all night with a migraine so big that it had to have come from Texas.

It has been the supersized version of a headache, which is not as tasty as a supersized French fries with salt and ketchup.

Migraines are not pretty.

But this is, isn't it? I came across this beautiful building one summer evening. You guys will have to guess where it is.

Sometimes I think the world is divided into people who get headaches and people who get migraines.

Migraine people would like to be people who just get headaches. Headache people think that people with migraines are exaggerating just a wee bit.

Migraine people like to collect facts and trivia about migraines, if only to amuse headache people and distract them from offering something that will not help, like Tylenol or Excedrin.

Fun Migraine Facts:

Migraines break down into four stages:

a) Prodrome phase
b) Aura phase
c) Pain phase (also known as the 'oh my god the pain' phase)
d) Postdrome phase

This is a fun fact because saying "prodrome and postdrome" sounds silly.

Migraines can be triggered by several factors, such as:

Physical and emotional stress
Change in sleeping patterns
Bright lights and loud noises
Smoking
Tension headaches
Changes in barometric pressure

Now, you pick the trigger that I don't have.

Right! Smoking. I don't smoke.

From 1874 to 1942, the most common and standard treatment of migraines was the use of cannabis. Often cannabis can be grown in greenhouses. There is not cannabis being grown in this greenhouse, by the way, they're growing orchids. What kind of group do you think I run with?

Other treatments include some other herbs that have funny names but probably don't result in lying around muttering "dude, pass me the Cheetos and did you notice that cloud looks like a bunny?"

Herbs like feverfew and butterbur. I think butterbur should be a candy bar, not an herb, but as I am under the influence of almotriptan malate, what I think is amusing is probably amusing only to me.

Famous people get migraines, people like Whoopi Goldberg, Terrell Davis, and Susan Olsen - the actress who played Cindy Brady - and Princess Margaret.

Dead famous people got migraines. The King of Rock and Roll, Elvis Presley, had terrible migraines. Also, Robert E. Lee and Ulysses S. Grant. Think of the stress factors a civil war can trigger. Also, Napoleon Bonaparte and Julius Caesar. Clearly, being a powerful man with war-like tendencies can really trigger migraines.

Me? I like to associate with other famous dead people who didn't carry guns but also got horrible migraines. Literary and artistic types. Lewis Carroll. Virginia Woolf. Vincent Van Gogh. Emily Dickinson. Sigmund Freud! He got migraines too! No wonder he had a couch in his office. When you have a migraine, all you want to do is lie down.

Stephen King gets migraines, which is probably why "It" and "Salem's Lot" are so damn scary.

Never knock a Stephen King book, they're some of the scariest things I've ever read. Except "Pet Semetary" which just made me sad and then was made into an even sadder and really awful movie.

"The Shining" is a great scary book that was then made into a movie so scary that I can barely watch it.

Another scary movie that is sadly underrated is "Secret Window" which stars Johnny Depp. If the combination of Johnny Depp and Stephen King doesn't make you feel better then maybe you do need to take some herbs. Or bake brownies with them.

Let's all focus on beautiful photography instead of migraines and Stephen King.

I love the light in these greenhouse photographs. It was a summer day, nearing sunset, and the greenhouses were glowing with magic. Magical orchids, that is.

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Nicole Freire is a freelance writer who lives in Santa Barbara.