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Roger the Scanner Guy - 11/03/2009

Scanner report
updated: Nov 02, 2009, 9:55 AM

by Roger the Scanner Guy

Well another Monday morning the birds are singing, the bees are buzzing, and some drunk is wizzing on your car, and throwing up in the gutter at the same time. But the sun is out it will probably hit 70 today so who cares?

On Friday on Cooper Road a hedge caught on fire because somehow there was an electrical appliance involved I'm really not to sure what it was maybe someone’s vibrator got overheated, I know that happens to mine sometimes. There was a police officer speaking to a coroner or the coroner about a suicide we know that now, in the 600 block of State Street a man was punching trash cans with his fist he was a grown man who probably would be more comfortable sitting in a high chair because he obviously wasn't getting his way and he wanted everybody to know about it. This one cracked me up a all grown up brother and sister still living with mommy got into an argument and the sister called 911 and just kept adding fuel to the fire, or drama however you choose to look at it, "My Brother he owns a gun, he ripped my shirt,” (in a previous fight) could have been 20 years ago. Sister is now locked in a room with her 86 year old mother that has no idea what's going on, (she’s probably watching it on Turner Broadcasting). Her brother is in his room at the back of the property playing with his gun, those women they got to tell them everything! Who knows how that ended up I never saw that movie.

There were gang types running from the police I think it was in the 1200 block of East Yanonali somewhere but that went on all day Friday as I reported in my impending doom update, writing at one point this kid was cornered near Franklin School, I don't know if he was getting beat or worse. The police were just jumping here there and everywhere trying to keep the peace, they were earning their "Sawbucks" on Friday.

A woman came home from work on Friday and found her door standing wide open on Richland, and right after that a woman on Santa Ynez reported that a man ran out of her residence and disappeared HELL, maybe she came home with her Halloween mask on, or maybe not. Some guy set up some kind of counterfeit maching on State and Milpas and walked away, the cops caught up with him and said code 4 some maybe he made enough money for both of them. I heard the Sheriff requesting the "Blood Nurse" At Goleta Valley, I wonder how she was dressed? With over 300 arrests and 700 plus tickets given out there was probably a whole family of Vampires working the "Blood Nurse" Shift at cottage in Goleta. At Milpas and Cabrillo a big macho idiot beat up his girlfriend then ran away to Dwight Murphy Park I hope this morning his boyfriend is beating him up in County Jail.

Later on there was a report of a group of "gang types" possibly fighting and urinating near El Centro and Valerio. I never fought that way.

At 4 A.M. On Saturday Morning a woman became inpaled on a fence in the 100 block of Veronica, of course here I spelled it Bronca, after she tried to make entry into a structure of sorts. If anyone knows anything about this or how she’s doing I'm sure there's a few of us that would like to know. Later on in the morning there was a report of a 245 with a baseball bat in the 1400 block of Garden Street, of course the victim didn't really get hit with a baseball bat he must have been confused from his head injury, he actually got hit with a vacuum cleaner attachment, it was a Hoover, Hoover attachments are so much better to sleep with than a room mate, I'd much rather have a Hoover attachment than a Dirt Devil room mate any day.

There was some sort of auto accident at Alisos and Gutierrez where the intersection had to be closed for an investigation to take place, I'm really not sure what occurred there. But then 3 homeless men were spotted smoking marijuana near the bathrooms at Pershing Park and this being (Homeless Hunting Season) The police dropped everything and went after the vicious dangerous, fugitives from true justice marijuana smokers, of course we all know everyday of the year is Homeless Hunting Season. There were a few people that were at Cottage Hospital on Saturday morning from injuries they received that day and or night before when most or all of them might have been drunk, and not wanting to take the chance of having to go to jail or the sober center they didn't go to the emergency room till the next day they knew the police would never suspect them of this of course I heard it on the scanner so the police are not as dumb as they looked on Saturday morning, Ha, ha, ha.

There was a fully involved car fire on Soledad, a assault and battery investigation walk in to Cottage E.R. There was a little gang thing on the APS roundabout on Friday night maybe they went to Cottage on Saturday morning too, a medical emergency for a diabetic feeling faint at the Sportsman, now heading to the Saturday morning meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous in Cottage Hospitals emergency room. Halloweener: Now the fella that says he hit a car on Bath Street admitted he might have fallen off his bicycle on his own, WOW! That's the first step of the rest of his life.

I'm not really to sure what happened between these women there were several "Adult Entertainers" From out of town that rented a room here. "What's wrong ain't our hookers go enough for ya?" Anyway the police were trying to sort out whatever might have happened either an assault or car accident or both they all had made up names and on sounded a lot like Monet "Blow a party." One cop had no problem saying this over the radio the other kept referring to Monet as "Monet Blowawhatever" He just couldn't bring himself to saying it. I wondered how they came up with that name exactly. Apparently they switched I.D. Cards on the cops and I never figured out the ending to this story so I assumed like everyone else the party ended up at Cottage emergency.

There were more than a few old geezers suffering from diabetic reactions was it the booze? or the candy corn? There was a bicyclist down in the 2900 block of State Street don't know what condition his condition is in though. A fire alarm went off at 5 East room 7 of Cottage Hospital sounds like some kid was board. There was a fall victim in the 2300 block of Garden at 3:55 P.M. a 415 Disagreement over taxi fare at 331 West Montecito, down the street on the other side of town a 5150 emotionally unstable person called 911 to report they lost their medication, and "N0" I Didn't find it I have plenty of my own. 101 Northbound at Salinas minor injury crash K-9 running around. Never heard the rest of that one either kinda concerned for the dog. Then there was an idiot dressed up as a prisoner stripes and all causing a disturbance on lower Bath Street be funny if he went to jail, dressed in that cute little jump suit. Sounds like a woman in I.V. was run in on thousands of dollars in warrants, not much of a party now is it? Medical emergency of a man down on Cliff Drive bleeding from the nose, A man in a backyard somewhere refusing to leave wearing purple pants and smoking crack. In I.V. It sounded like constant "Roll Call" and Santa Barbara "Loud Party" calls Police were on a group of "gang types" At Figueroa and Chapala on Saturday evening, and there was a 415 disturbance between a transient and News Suppressed Security, at the News Suppressed parking lot, I'm surprised it was even reported.

At 3:30 A.M. On Sunday morning there was still Halloweener activity lurking about A 20002 hit and run involving a black car on San Pasqual, a prowler in the 1700 block of Garden Street. Then a citizen hero in a green Ford Explorer following a suspected reckless and drunk driver around town while reporting it over his cell phone to 911 once the police got into the game the drunk driver at first failed to yield but gave up rightaway. It soun

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