Subscriber Comments for
Still Shaking

Comments in order of when they were received | (reverse order)

COMMENT 146966	2011-02-19 10:04 AM
She'd probably get direct relief by not going.
COMMENT 146982	2011-02-19 10:51 AM
wow! you should take that $100 and take yourself out for dinner and find some new friends!
COMMENT 146992	2011-02-19 11:10 AM
Appalling. Is this a Hollywood musical production or a celebration of the marriage of two people with their friends and family? Why try to control and orchestrate the guests? If you want to attend, I wouldn't be manipulated into having to buy something to wear to suit the one occasion. If you planned to give a gift anyway and they'd rather have cash, whatever amount you would have spent on a gift would be a generous contribution toward their trip. Easier than buying and wrapping etc., too. But if you don't feel like attending or writing a check, you are under no obligation, social or moral, to do so. And the wedding couple should read Miss Manners's books and learn how to behave!
COMMENT 146993P	2011-02-19 11:13 AM
Either dress in the costume and pay up or don't go. Take your phone along so you can play games and check messages. This is bound to be the most boring thing you do this year. And your partner is going to owe you BIG TIME!!
COMMENT 146995	2011-02-19 11:14 AM
I don't thinks these are big requests. The flats for women is kind of a joke. It's there day let them be happy. If this is a problem then they probably are not what I would consider friends. I have been two 2 weddings recently where $$ was asked for instead of gifts. No biggy.
SHOREBIRD	2011-02-19 11:20 AM
If the delicate flower groom is only 5'4" he is going to have an anxiety ridden honeymoon in Denmark among the Viking descendents where even 12 years olds will be bigger than he is.
COMMENT 146999	2011-02-19 11:26 AM
If someone invites me to their house and asks me to remove my shoes I do it because I want to spend time with them. If a wedding party invites me to their wedding and asks me to wear a particular outfit, I'd do it because I want to witness their union. Not everyone has the freedom to marry in this country. Let us celebrate with love for those that do. Most people don't know what to give as gifts. This couple is making it easier for you. Leave your judgements at the door and just simply celebrate the love between these two folks.
COMMENT 147005	2011-02-19 12:01 PM
gotta be the bride's idea. guys don't give a rats back half what the women wear. you should pity the groom, he's getting ready to be lead around for the rest of his life. tell yr husband its his buddy, have him pony up. and wear what you like.
COMMENT 147007	2011-02-19 12:03 PM
what 999 said... the invite is a little obnoxious, but whatever- life is too short to make an issue of these things if these are people you care about- if you want to keep these friends just look at it as something you wouldn't do every day....
COMMENT 147015	2011-02-19 01:01 PM
Give them an IOU.
COMMENT 147016P	2011-02-19 01:05 PM
Wonder what color the groom's leash is gonna be.
COMMENT 146992	2011-02-19 02:16 PM
If someone invites me to their house and asks me to remove my shoes I do so, because that is how they live - no shoes in the house. Keeps the floor/rugs clean or whatever. But if someone invites me to their house and instructs me to wear clothing of a certain color, that's quite different, unless it is a costume party. The money vs gift thing is not a big issue, but why the focus on the guests matching their outfits? Isn't it enough that the bridesmaids and groomsmen do that?
COMMENT 147036P	2011-02-19 02:19 PM
you probably shouldn't go, you would bring to much of a negative vibe. this can also be looked at as light hearted too ~ geez with all the crap going on the world, lighten up and then stay home.
COMMENT 147036P	2011-02-19 02:25 PM
maybe they have some really cool color scheme planned for the wedding and having everyone dressed in those tones will look awesome!!! Just go with it ~ it could be great! What's the big deal? You are prejudging. You will probably forget about their wedding in a couple months but they will remember it forever so help them make it special or just stay home....maybe there will be a good movie on.....Four weddings a funeral?
COMMENT 147036P	2011-02-19 02:32 PM
That sounds passive aggressive to me. Why don't you just send them a note saying they upset you terribly because you wanted to wear a different color and heals and had a toaster picked out. You are no longer friends. It sounds simpilier than the passive aggressive game you are proposing. To react the way you are it seems you don't really care for them anyway and there must be more to it. Best of luck
PADDY1	2011-02-19 03:06 PM
Simple: go only if you feel like it, and can participate in and share their joy. If you can't do that stay home.
COMMENT 147127	2011-02-19 08:19 PM
If you still want to be friends with these people, then just give them $100 for their trip, and either don't go to the wedding or go along with their requests. I just don't see the point in doing something other than their request if you consider them your friends. It is ridiculous, yes, but what's the point in making a big stink about it? This is one of those times you should probably just keep quiet.
COMMENT 147036P	2011-02-19 09:22 PM
you're a spazz!!!!!! I feel sorry for your husband! This is his best friend and you are acting like this? Selfish or what?
COMMENT 147146	2011-02-20 12:25 AM
The colors: okay. The preference for cash over useless possessions: okay. But woman who might be taller than the groom need to diminish their height? I think the last time this request was made it was for a certain royal wedding in France at the beginning of the 19th century.
COMMENT 147152	2011-02-20 08:04 AM
They do have a show called Bridezillas for a reason. They are out there. There are web sites that allow you to register for contributions to certain parts of your honeymoon trip, like horseback rides, spa treatments, car rentals, and in this case ice fishing shacks. Way better than including your account number and routing number on your wedding invite.
RAINE5360	2011-02-20 08:31 AM
At first I was apalled by the "rules," but the more I read the comments, I began to wonder, does the request, however silly, really matter? ...unless you don't have a black suit and color outfit, of course... It's quite possible that they want to take group photos and are including the guests in their color scheme. But yeah, I'm giving the couple a BIG benefit of the doubt, I guess. PS - funny comment about Direct Relief. Good one.
COMMENT 147161	2011-02-20 09:09 AM
This must be a joke. Who does this? If this is not a joke, there is a word for these people who are to marry: tacky. One doesn't ask for gifts. Ever. And to dictate color of dress clothes and height of heels is ridiculous. (Not to mention humiliating to the groom as now everyone is painfully aware of his diminutiveness.) This is another example of the degradation of standards AND MANNERS in this country. Truly sad.
COMMENT 147162	2011-02-20 09:21 AM
Its their big day to celebrate their union. Let them put whatever they want on their invitations and if they want to have you wear a certain color no big deal. There have been tons of weddings that have requested such things, all white etc, usually it is for pictures and such, you don't want to be the ass wearing the wrong color and sticking out like a soar thumb. The money thing is request if you do not want to give them money fine, but donating to a cause is sweet but do it under your own name. Better yet maybe shouldn't go at all since it seems you already passing judgement on the couple.
ANDY	2011-02-20 09:34 AM
Wow what poor taste and deplorable manners. Wonder how this is going to end.
COMMENT 147229	2011-02-20 02:01 PM
The bride needs to accept the imperfections in life and rejoice. Zeeeeen out!!!!
COMMENT 147232P	2011-02-20 02:17 PM
I have to say the bride sounds like she's been watching too many TV bride programs(it's OK to be a demanding emasculating shrew), or reading too many Martha Stewart color-coordinated wedding fashion layouts. (hint: those are staged). All this was mentioned in a formal printed invitation? or was this an Evite? Pushing the 'tacky' envelope, either way. I'd say, give them the cash they want, and wear whatever you can to be in the color ballpark, for the sake of his best friend. But wear whatever shoes you are comfortable in; I'm sure the bride will be.
COMMENT 147263	2011-02-20 05:15 PM
I agree with Andy...what poor taste and deplorable manners...How could you share this invitation from your supposedly best friend. I am sure glad you are not my friend and I hope she has some real friends to share this important day with.....with friends like you she will need no enemies.
COMMENT 147396	2011-02-21 09:19 AM
Colors are a big deal, especially requiring black suits for men - you may be asking someone to pop several hundred dollars for one event on clothing and shoes alone. And wedding etiquette is clear you never ask for money. If they are in their 30's, they should be able to afford their own honeymoon. They can pass the word informally that they have plenty of stuff and would prefer help with the honeymoon but it should be a suggestion and they shouldn't mandate it of guests. Wayyy to controlling. They seriously mentioned the height of the groom in the invitation? Yikes
COMMENT 147645	2011-02-22 08:53 AM
Put on your heels!
COMMENT 175125P	2011-05-19 07:12 PM
OK, we're in May already, are they married, if so; and if you went as requested, how did it go? Sounds like the new hubby might have a short mans syndrome, or his bride is pushing it and hurting him by doing this. As someone mentioned, just go with it, just to prevent a friendship breaking up. Getting married in their 30's, and living together, I don't think they deserve any gifts at all. But personally myself, I'd tell them both to shove it.

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