Subscriber Comments for
Scared Husband

Comments in order of when they were received | (reverse order)

COMMENT 121197	2010-11-13 10:16 AM
Why is it that the responses in "Ask Edda" never, ever, address the real issue?
COMMENT 121201	2010-11-13 10:40 AM
Assuming you are both adults, simply communicate and tell her for health reasons it will be in her best interest to lose weight, and she will look better in her clothes. However, if you feel a little awkward about the latter, put it on reserve for a while. Why can't Edda help this poor man?
COMMENT 121212	2010-11-13 11:07 AM
Cut your wife some slack. She just passed a watermelon through a dime sized slot, lets see you do that.The baby is only 6 months old and most doctors don't recommend a rigorous weight loss program so soon after delivering. If I were you I wouldn't say word one. She'll lose it when she's ready.
ROGER DODGER	2010-11-13 11:10 AM
I'm glad I'm a man but my mom says I'm a real pain in the butt why is that?
COMMENT 121216	2010-11-13 11:20 AM
I guess many women get defensive about weight gain,and then maybe eat more comfort food.when upset. Also some women suffer depression, mild to extreme after birth. The woman needs to have a good physical and the doctor should advise her about losing weight. It will NOT go away on its own for some women. I have always had a fast metabolism and was very active, so always lost my weight immediately, within three months. Many envied my body weight loss, and some were downright nasty about who skinny I was. I was not. I just always maintained my normal weight throughout my life, enjoying balanced meals, and not fond of idle eating.. The idea of eating for two is bad advise to pregnant ladies, but I think this causes some of the problems. Etta should do betta!
COMMENT 121217	2010-11-13 11:29 AM
She is no magician that puts watermelons through dime sized holes. She passed a baby through the birth canal like every natural born baby has been born since we've been making babies. She won't just lose it when ready, but most likely needs encouragement and motivation. Negative criticism is a horrible motivator even though it works sometimes. I suggest that you take her on vigorous walks and light jogs with you and become her workout partner of sorts. Appeal to the health issues of being overweight and the fact that you have a 6mo old wonder that you want to be around for the next 50 years or so.
COMMENT 121220P	2010-11-13 11:32 AM
Six months is early to diet, but exercise is always helpful to get rid of the postpartum blues, and the fatigue from lack of sleep. Activity will help the weight come off in a healthy way. IMHO - Edda is the bomb. No one person can give the same great advice as a whole community. Perfect message for Edhat!
COMMENT 121201	2010-11-13 11:36 AM
Roger, Don't take it personally,your Mom may be recalling the last two weeks of your 9 month occupancy! I remember carrying my 11 lbs. bouncing boy for those last weeks and sitting WAS a pain in the butt....
COMMENT 121230	2010-11-13 01:01 PM
Hey dude - why don't YOU go off by yourself. Reassess. Are you sure the kid is yours? Did you not cover this 'weighty' issue in your pre-nup? You do have a pre-nup don'tcha?
COMMENT 121231P	2010-11-13 01:02 PM
Let the doctor advise her.
COMMENT 121238P	2010-11-13 02:02 PM
121197, good question. It's either because the questions aren't real to begin with and so don't need real answers, or she just doesn't care. I really don't like this column. It's snarky and doesn't provoke any truly meaningful dialogue.
COMMENT 121241	2010-11-13 02:26 PM
I agree with 1238 re: seemingly made-up questions and snarkiness. I wish the "Ask Edda" posts would disappear. They add nothing of value to Edhat.
COMMENT 121245	2010-11-13 02:36 PM
121212 - Dime sized slot? More like silver dollar, baby.
COMMENT 121201	2010-11-13 03:37 PM
The comments from the community are often to the point and oft times hilarious. If Edda is a bone fide counsellor with a sense of humour plus the desire to help she is certainly hiding it well! She is neither witty nor helpful.
COMMENT 121256	2010-11-13 04:21 PM
Edda is a joke...Worthless
COMMENT 121257	2010-11-13 04:32 PM
Maybe take this time to love your wife for reasons other than her physical appearance. Having a baby takes its toll. She is an adult, she can worry about herself.
COMMENT 121264P	2010-11-13 05:41 PM
Q: Why is it that the responses in "Ask Edda" never, ever, address the real issue? A: Maybe because it's satire, parody, irony, rhetorical, whimsy ...
COMMENT 121266	2010-11-13 05:56 PM
Love Edda, and love the way her "answers" inspire everyone else to chime in. Way to build cultural consensus, Ms. E!
COMMENT 121231P	2010-11-13 05:59 PM
Initially, I didn't care for Edda, I thought some of the questions were made up. I still do. But I like the column, because in reading the responses -- and comparing them to what I have written -- I learn a lot about myself and others and what connects us as human beings.
COMMENT 121201	2010-11-13 06:22 PM
67P Right on! :-)
COMMENT 121276	2010-11-13 06:34 PM
Okay, okay, I've been busted! I'm not really Ask Edda -- my name is actually Dr. Laura Schlepinger!!
COMMENT 121281	2010-11-13 07:33 PM
My wife has had three babies in four years and she gained a decent amount of weight with each baby ~ 40 lbs. One thing Ive learned as a husband to a post-partum woman is that discussion of weight are never a good idea. Right now your wife is vulnerable, emotional and deeply engrossed in making sure your child has what it needs to survive; her weight is definitely not an issue. In time, say after a year, she will probably broach the topic, at this point you can provide the support she need to achieve her weight loss goal, e.g., but her a gym membership and time with a trainer. Good luck and love that wife.
COMMENT 121276	2010-11-13 07:45 PM
@ -281, Well, it sounds to me like you've been loving your wife, just a little too much and a little too often. Instead of you being so concerned with just how much weight your wife gained with each of her babies, don't you agree it's about time for you to take yourself out and work off some of your excess energy on something other than your poor, uncomplaining, overworked wife? You need to take your own advice and buy yourself a gym membership and work off your testosterone with something other than your wife!!!
COMMENT 121288	2010-11-13 07:47 PM
I love Edda
COMMENT 121302	2010-11-14 07:20 AM
Some really helpful advice amoung the unpleasant responses. Going for walks with wife, and baby in jogger or stroller, would be good for the whole family. Stress reducer, fresh air, a good time for parents to have meaningful dialog. Edda is unimportant, she simply starts the discussion. For those who don't like Edda, "Why waste time reading her, scroll past."
COMMENT 121201	2010-11-14 07:58 AM
Thanks for the input. As suspected and now confirmed: Edda is superfluous as a *columnist and clearly unimportant. We can all continue to work with this, and enjoy responding to the queries in an intelligent and helpful way. * Is this her work title by the way? Easy money if so.
LUCKY 777	2010-11-14 11:21 AM
I admit this is the first time I have looked at the Edda column and I am unlikely to come back, but it was somewhat interesting to peruse a classic EdHat snarky set of negative responses. How I wish everyone would drink their happy pill before they open up their email and fire off their anonymous responses to EdHat in the morning. My opinion is that the best way to help this woman is to establish a routine of healthy walks with the new baby. Get out of the house, the two parents and the new one, and go enjoy someplace splendid like Shoreline Park. Meet a lot of people with dogs, accept compliments on the baby, and smile and get fresh air. This also provides a bit of time when the two parents can enjoy each other and relax, and the weight will work its way off naturally. What this woman needs is support and help, not criticism. After spending so much time being inside the house caring for the 24/7 needs of a newborn she needs to get out, enjoy our climate and scenic vistas, and get compliments from random strangers on her beautiful accomplishment of having given birth.
COMMENT 121201	2010-11-14 12:35 PM
777 Nice positive sentiments. I hope he is reading this column and not given up on us. he husband is asking for HELP and advice on how to communicate with his wife his concerns over her weight, and for all we know she may be out walking with and the baby every day. Assuming he is at work during the week he can hardly monitor this nor can he control her trips to the 'fridge and the cookie jar. He needs to open up a discussion.
COMMENT 121381	2010-11-14 02:02 PM
I have the BEST advice ever for this one! Sir, you can buy/check out a healthy eating cookbook or Google recipes so you can create delicious meals that will add glow to her face and as an added bonus, help her drop a few pounds. She will also appreciate the loving gesture of you preparing these meals. So it will be a win-win in every aspect.
COMMENT 121392	2010-11-14 03:54 PM
Great advice Lucky, she is probably overwhelmed and eating what ever is handy. Hubby could bring home some healthy foods. Mothering is an exhausting job. He needs to remember to bring home flowers. Traders has some great prices and beautiful flowers.
COMMENT 121576	2010-11-15 11:33 AM
121381, wow. I'm impressed, that really was the best advice given.
COMMENT 122255	2010-11-17 04:03 PM
Been there. Its going to take some effort on hubbies part. Such as him cooking good food and exercising together. Set the example. But for gosh-sakes DO NOT say anything about weight.

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