Subscriber Comments for
String of Bad Gifts

Comments in order of when they were received | (reverse order)

COMMENT 62809	2010-03-13 10:48 AM
Could "Curious" be just a wee bit mercenary about gifts? After all it is the thought that matters.
COMMENT 62812	2010-03-13 11:06 AM
This is one guy who needs to give himself the gift of a new girlfriend.
COMMENT 62818	2010-03-13 12:01 PM
Let's not be so harsh. If b-f is wasting his hard earned cash on things she is never going to use, then they're both better off if she gives a few good hints. Or makes a list. I always heard that communication is good for a relationship. Same goes for the hyper lab :)
COMMENT 62846	2010-03-13 03:16 PM
Great advice, Edda. Wherever did you come up with such a cliché-less response about men?
SUSIE IN GOLETA	2010-03-13 03:27 PM
Dear Edda - very funny!
ROGER DODGER	2010-03-13 04:02 PM
Yea will women are after one thing too!
GOWEST	2010-03-13 04:17 PM
And what is that Roger? Birthday presents?
COMMENT 62809	2010-03-13 05:00 PM
It is impossible to go wrong with chocolate. Lots of it. Or perhaps I am just too easy to please?
SUSIE IN GOLETA	2010-03-13 05:35 PM
maybe just too easy :)
COMMENT 62871	2010-03-13 05:43 PM
I find the woman to be ignorant and shallow. Gifts...are just that, gifts. Quit whining. Try doing something nice for your boyfriend instead of complaining about what you didnt get from him. Geez, I hate hearing about women who are so picky.
COMMENT 62872P	2010-03-13 05:48 PM
Yeah, don't expect gifts. Make him a sandwich and bring him a beer. And, never, never touch the remote.
AKIMBO	2010-03-13 06:11 PM
For the girlfriend: give hints or make plans, take charge...he won't "get it" on his own! For the lab's owner: try some Rescue Remedy (any health food store or drsfostersmith.com) to ease the transition for your pet, then set the limits yourself, as already stated by another commenter. Two great words for today: speak up!
COMMENT 62876P	2010-03-13 06:26 PM
Hey Tracy... did Curious even state his or her gender? Maybe Curious is a guy, Tracy. And anyway, I'm pretty sure it's all in good fun, Tracy. Have a little sense of humor, could ya?
ROGER DODGER	2010-03-13 07:11 PM
A few weeks after my ex girlfriend passed away her folks asked if I'd help them clear out her place. I did they gave me just about everything she owned and my tacky gifts were in there. A visons sauce pan, a framed picture of a cow. We loved cows. I used to be better at gift giving. That was 7 years ago and I still have most of her things. As far as my stupid statement which is deleted it was a joke, not a pick up line. That part of my life has been deleted too the only thing I miss are the spankings.
WINTER	2010-03-13 07:15 PM
A little advice...Circle something on the flier or news ad on the coffee table under the remote....A purse, perfume, spa, etc...I've been married 25 years and the first five were horrible. He showed up with a vacuum the first year and I cried. A box of chocolates would have been better.Now I'm lucky to have grown kids helping too. But one good book that I really wanted means the world.
COMMENT 62911	2010-03-14 08:23 AM
Is Edda actually so clueless as to say that men are only after one thing? What one thing would that be? Love? Respect? Admiration? Affection? Recognition of how hard they work? I see that Roger also has an emotionally healthy outlook regarding women. What one thing is it that they want, exactly, Roger? A clash in taste is not fatal to a relationship. If the relationship is good, there is always a tactful way to broach the subject: "Honey, I love it that you thought of me. You are so kind and thoughtful and I love surprises. But this doesn't seem like anything I would wear/use very often. Would it be okay if I exchange it for something that would remind me of you every time I see it/use it?" Then get specific about what that might be. Keep it in the same price range. Give him a big kiss. My boyfriend's first gift to me was an iron. It did not thrill me. (Men, here's a clue - appliances are not gifts.) Using this technique, his second gift was a beautiful piece of jewelry. Am I mercenary? No - I love him more than life itself. But giving gifts was something he didn't know about. He loves me, too, and wants to please me - after all, that's the whole point of giving someone a present. So we're happy all the way around.
COMMENT 62923P	2010-03-14 09:55 AM
Guys are mostly dense. Ladies, if you brought us warm beer, while naked, during the ball game, we'd complain about the warm beer or your blocking the screen. It takes us a while to "get it" on the domestic home front. We've not had our "perfect wedding" in mind since we were 6 years old or what colors we were going to wear. Why do you think the tuxedo stores carry the colors black and black? The note, left under the remote, might get read, thrown out or we'd complain to the guys at work about how you leave stuff lying around the house... If we didn't notice the new hair style, your getting your nails done or the new dress until you ask, "notice something different" How are we supposed to recognize subtle clues? And, when you do, how often do we get it right on our first GUESS? We seldom understand life's subtleties, you need to get our attention and make sure we are looking at you when you're talking. If you throw out any time based references, we may have jumped to the time/mileage based needs of the cars' oil change, filters or the grass needing to be mowed. If you do get presents regularly for your "main events," you should probably thank our secretary or our PDA. I believe it's a genitic, a left brain/right brain thing that doesn't necessarily follow lines of reason, like not taking sleeping pills the same night you take a laxative. 'nuff said . . . ,)
COMMENT 62809	2010-03-14 10:05 AM
62911 Nice letter. Forty five years ago and because I worked hard on our property my husband gave me the chain saw I asked for. Now he gives me Chanel No.5 and See's Chocolates and all the books I never had time to read. We are happy too :-)
COMMENT 62933	2010-03-14 10:36 AM
I have apparently the most amazing boyfriend in all of SB because he will surprise me with gifts on random occasions, and it's always something I either need or absolutely love - or both. He's definitely off the market, ladies!
COMMENT 62809	2010-03-14 11:04 AM
Heather...... Sounds like my husband. He is definitely a first edition and an out of print treasure. :-)
COMMENT 62987	2010-03-14 05:45 PM
With all due respect, I think the advice to both, was insensitive and lacking in helpfulness.
COMMENT 62988	2010-03-14 05:48 PM
And I feel Akimbo has provided the most helpful advice without alienating anyone.
COMMENT 63000	2010-03-14 08:25 PM
Hmmm why is everyone so serious? Isn't this supposed to be a funny take on "Dear Abby"? Think Saturday Night Live, or the news via Colbert.
COMMENT 63003	2010-03-14 08:48 PM
Both the boyfriend owner and the dog owner want obedience and are looking for advice in how to manipulate their "objects" to get what they want. How about giving the dog to the boyfriend and the two bosses can get together and live fighting forever after.
COMMENT 63005	2010-03-14 08:51 PM
Thank you Lifesighs, that's what a came here to post. Lighten up people!
COMMENT 63014	2010-03-14 10:00 PM
On the lighter side, give the boyfriend to the dog and let the bosses alternate throwing sticks and playing fetch with each other.
COMMENT 63037	2010-03-15 08:07 AM
Dear, Dear Edda, Women are after one thing (a man to take care of them). And when they get it, they can't stop complaining. They complain if you don't put the seat down, but what they don't realize is when a man puts the seat UP, that means he is not peeing all over it. Plus, even a monkey wouldn't sit down on a toilet without looking first. They complain that men are not in tune with their feelings. Well then, tell us. We aren't Karnak, the All-Seeing. If a woman wants someone to REALLY empathize with them, they should talk to their girlfriends, or the gay guy that lives down the street. If a man allows a woman to bring a foo-foo dog into his home (like a Chihuahua), the woman better realize that the man has already made a major, years-long concession in the relationship...walk your own stupid dog And if it isn't enough that we pay for the rent and food and cars and clothes and bills, women complain that we don't get them interesting gifts. MAKE A DAMN LIST!!!! Give us sizes, colors, manufacturers, website addresses, online coupon codes, etc. Whatever makes our shopping experience AS SHORT AS POSSIBLE. You see, it's a woman's job to shop.
JOJOFLYS	2010-03-15 09:17 AM
63037, thanks for the laugh......you did mean this as a joke, right? It's just too funny to be serious.
COMMENT 63037	2010-03-15 10:28 AM
@Jojo - Yes, but all good jokes tug at the strings of reality.
COMMENT 63156P	2010-03-15 06:41 PM
A guy infront of me at dowtown Macy's was dutifully trailing his girlfriend, who was very seriously shopping. He was carrying her bags with one hand, and under his other arm, ..... her frou frou little clothed and coiffed chihuahua! The dog wiggled and got out of the man's arm, the man changed bags to the other side and scooped the dog back up. Little did he know the little dog had started to poop! right in macy's in front of me!! ha ha. And on his shirt. yuk. He went up the escalator as I was torn between following him, and getting a sales person to clean it up before someone slid on it:) Which would you choose?? The morale of the story? Now that's a poor dolt, who will later be blamed for not watching her dog properly, and not being romantic enough.
COMMENT 63303	2010-03-16 01:06 PM
In reading through comments I'm kinda surprised no one seems to be bothered by Edda's comments about men: "Men are after one thing. And when they get it, they just stop trying.... They are just no damn good." Maybe she's trying to be provocative and funny but I find it a strange and unsettling way to start a discussion. Though I'm a woman, I don't like 'male-bashing' or denigrating men in general. Women seem to be allowed to be harsh about men, but don't tolerate it when men say negative things about women. Edda's comments dissuade me from reading Her in the column, though I have appreciated the comments by many of the responders. Does this bother anyone else?
COMMENT 62872P	2010-03-16 01:43 PM
I find it strange and unsettling that so many people lack a sense of humor.
COMMENT 63303	2010-03-16 08:21 PM
I think if Edda had written: "WOMEN are after one thing. And when they get it, they just stop trying.... They are just no damn good" there would have been a bunch of people would not laugh and would come back with nasty comments. Our culture seems to easily accept men as bad or stupid (like on TV shows where the man is clueless). It's a double standard. I'm enjoying hearing all the sweet comments about boyfriends/husbands who are loved.

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