Happy Hour

April 8, 2004 - The Hour of Happy Hour

We all know that a country mile is the longer than a regular mile. And, we know that the New York minute is a shorter 60 seconds than the California version of the same name. And the Kentucky Derby, “the most exciting two minutes in sports” has only twice been completed in that amount of time (Secretariat in 1973 and Monarchos in 2001). And even though we know that time goes faster when we’re having fun, it is also known that Happy Hour usually lasts longer than 60 minutes.

After eating lunch with Ed on Tuesday, Louie felt that Ed needed a little pick-me-up. Happy Hour, with cheap drinks and free food, could be just what the doctor ordered. But, to which Happy Hour should Ed and the dedicated staff go? And, at what time? Inquiring minds wanted to know.

On Wednesday, the dedicated staff bellied up to the phone and called the watering holes in town to inquire about hours and specials during these scheduled hours of mirth.

We found most bars do, in fact, have times of day of advanced joy. Only Joe’s, O’Malley’s, and Velvet Jones’ admitted that happiness at their establishment is not condensed into a short time period, but instead doled out evenly throughout the day. The phone answerer at Zelo, who was not peppy, perky, or playful, told the staff that he was “not sure” if they had Happy Hour or not.

The most common time for the gleeful hours of Happy Hour to take place is between 4:00 and 7:00. The shortest Happy Hours we found were two quick hours of contentment at several establishments. The longest we found was four lively hours of jubilance. Left at Albuquerque said that their Happy Hour went from 4:00 until closing, but to the dedicated staff, that just sounds like regular pricing.

The benefits of Happy Hour varied from bar to bar. The most common offering was $1 off of well drinks. Others had discounts on beer and margaritas. There are double sized drinks at Madison’s and 2-for-1 everything at Aloha Sharkeez. There were discounts on appetizers, too – half off at a lot of places, 20% off of sushi at Q’s Sushi A-Go-Go, and $2 off quesadillas at Blue Agave. Some places had free food, including a cheese plate at Firebird, finger food at the Wildcat, and a free buffet at El Paseo for anyone who spends $4 or more on drinks. During Happy Hour at Dargan’s, pool is half off.

But, if you are dreaming of a real Happy Hour, just like the ones you used to know, we recommend Mel’s at the entrance to the Paseo Nuevo Mall. When asked about their specials, the bartender said,

“Booze, baby. Lots of booze!”

Click here to see the skinny on all the Happy Hours we surveyed

In our contest, we found that the average Happy Hour commences its bliss at 3:58pm and doesn’t stop until 6:44 (2 hours and 45 minutes in all). The closest guess in our contest was 4:00 and 7:00. Jolinda, Sbkah, Edsailor, Sbheather, Lostgirla, Smclaughlin, and Lioness all guessed this. Jolinda was chosen randomly as the winner. Drinks are on Jolinda!

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